I stand up from my car seat, my vision going black. I stumble, leaning on my frame to help keep my balance until this is over. My body temperature, along with my heart rate, ascends and I can feel my stomach churning. The blackout period lasts for about 20 seconds. I slowly regain my vision as things start to go back to normal. This is not uncommon for me, I think. It never occurred to me that there could be anything more wrong than a small iron deficiency. 

My mother wants to take me back to the doctor for more blood work and testings. It just feels routine to me at this point. I walk into the office and sit in a plastic chair while my mother fills out paperwork. Finally, my name is called and the next thing I know, I’m sitting on the fresh paper bed, staring at different posters in the room. I hear the paper under me crinkle as I shift my weight. This is the fifth doctor that we’ve seen this year. I hope he knows what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to hear the same statistics again; I just want to understand why my body hates me. I don’t want to hear about all of the possibilities that this condition could be. I’ve heard it many times before. I want answers. 

He knocks on the door just before he comes in, and then I see his white lab coat rolled a quarter of the way up his forearm. Doctor Moore - he’s the type of guy that brings light into a room. He somehow seems to make bad news have a good vibe to it. The type of guy that has many lives in his hands daily. He’s the one that you’d go to if you had a bad day. He is who tells me I have NCS. 

Neurocardiogenic Syncope (NCS) is when the body grows faster than the veins. It starts with a sudden drop in blood pressure, which is briskly followed by an accelerating heart rate, which then decreases. The heart beats too fast and too hard, feeling as if it will burst. This causes a temporary loss of consciousness. It can be dangerous in sports or even at work. In my experiences, I have had to increase my salt intake and give myself a water limit. I’ve increased my iron intake, yet it somehow still finds ways to get to me. 

For example, when I am spinning at practice, sometimes I will just pass out in the middle of it if I am close to the ground. This is because of the pressure that builds in my head. The last time that I had a bad blackout just happened a few weeks ago while I was at work. I stood up after grabbing green peppers from under the counter. My skin went pale almost immediately and I was cold as well as hot. I felt as if I was going to fully pass out right there and the pressure in my head was immeasurable. I stumbled my way to the front counter to grab my phone and call my mom. Heading to the bathroom, I dialed my mom’s number. My dad had to bring her to pick me up and drive me home because I didn’t feel well enough. I slept for 13 hours that night, and the next day I still didn’t feel back to myself. 

While there is no cure for NCS, I have managed to learn how to live with it on a day to day basis. Sure it is an inconvenience, but it makes me who I am and is the reason for all of my actions. I will continue to monitor my iron levels and change my habits accordingly.