before, she would look at the stars and wonder if her someone was out there, somewhere, looking at the same ones. she'd dream of magic and flying and wishes that come true. she'd say tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will be better. and she hoped it would be.

silence didn't scare her back then. see, she was too busy looking at the clouds and comets to worry about the imperfections and the dangers of flying.

open doors didn't remind her of people leaving. they just reminded her of chances, risks worth taking. her heart sang a lullaby filled of hope and happiness and learning how to stand again, learning how to breathe. her heart still knew how to breathe back then.

and when it rained, she would close her eyes and imagine it was a beautiful poem filled of fairytale happiness and promises that no one would ever break.

now, she just closes her eyes and wishes it would go away. now, she wishes the silences wouldn't drag on because maybe then her thoughts wouldn't suffocate her. she wishes she could suffocate her heart - but then, she wonders if someone already has.

she's given up on dreams, and chances taken are always mistakes. she can't stand to look at the clouds anymore. because they always leave her, in the end, and she's tired of being left.

now, she just closes her eyes to the sunlight, because it's much too bright these days.