EDNOS: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. It is an eating disorder that is diagnosed when the person does not meet the criteria for one of the main three eating disorders (anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating disorder), but still fits enough general criteria and requires help. Individuals with EDNOS usually fall into one of three groups: sub-threshold symptoms of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, mixed features of both disorders, or extremely atypical eating behaviors that are not characterized by either of the other established disorders. EDNOS makes up for 60% of US eating disorder diagnosis's.
    
In August of this year, I developed an extreme anxiety that revolved around food and eating. To understand my story, you have to know some background. I have food allergies to nuts and shellfish. I've had them my whole life, and I've managed them my entire life without a single reaction besides the initial one that led me to get tested for other allergies. They are common allergies. My allergies were managed and food had never been a problem for me. This summer was a hot mess, to put it nicely. Due to a number of factors that have yet to be discussed on this blog, and that I don't really feel like explaining right now, I developed a severe fear of having an allergic reaction.

I stopped eating for a while, but eventually my parents forced me to eat because I was getting sick. I had learned that if a person was going to have an allergic reaction, it would begin within four minutes of the first bite. I started eating again, kind of. I would take one bite, and then set a timer for six minutes, and then be able to eat a little more, shaking the entire time. This enabled me to have a very limited diet. I refused to eat anything that was made in a factory, for fear of cross contamination, even if I had been eating it my entire life.

In two weeks, I lost over 20 pounds. I became malnourished, dehydrated, and anemic because of it. My doctor increased the dosage of the anxiety medicine I was already on (I've had anxiety issues my entire life), and I started intense therapy. I slowly reintroduced more foods to my diet, starting with things like rice and red meat to help me regain weight and reverse the anemia. I began to eat things that were made in a factory, after extensive online research of whether it was safe or not. I only ate foods that were made in a completely nut free factory, even though I had been eating things that had been my entire life without a problem. I knew that my food allergies were by ingestion only- I have to eat it to react. I knew that I could be near peanut butter without a reaction, or eat a Hershey bar even though the factory also makes stuff with almonds. But still, I was improving.

I am still not quite the same. I have not eaten at a restaurant in six months. I cannot eat at a friends house. For a while I refused to eat lunch in school, even though I packed it myself. I then was able to eat in the nurses office because it felt safer, and if I had a panic attack, I wouldn't be in public. I am now able to sit with my friends again, but I use a hell of a lot of wet wipes and hand sanitizer.

When my doctor increased the dosage of my medicine, I was told that I had "severe food-related anxiety" or something like that, and it was later confirmed by my therapist that I fit EDNOS criteria.

Today I am back to eating pretty much my old diet, but I still have those fears, and there are still some days where I simply can't eat. I can't eat new foods without timing it. I am not an attention seeker. I am not just a picky eater. I am not on a diet. I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I am strong, and I will keep fighting.