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Not a Big Deal
I came out to my parents in the dumbest way possible. I had just started dating my first girlfriend, and we talked constantly. She called once at 11 at night, and my parents asked if she and I were "special friends." I said, "Actually, we're dating." They looked at me, and shrugged. I went to my room and cried, because I had just shared something so meaningful with the people who raised me, and all I got was a raising and lowering of their shoulders.
Don't get me wrong; I am really grateful that they didn't throw me out or tell me I'm going to hell. But at the same time, they didn't inquire as to if I was gay or bi, how I felt about it, who else I'd told, if this was the first girl, etc. I've never talked to another person who has come out to their parents and gotten such a lukewarm response. I'm thankful that they don't hate me, but I wish they showed that they cared more.
We did have a talk about my sexuality later, but it was brief and unemotional. My mom told everyone else in her family through email. They talked about me during an Easter brunch I couldn't make it to. Every way that my parents addressed it seemed so cordial. This was a big deal for me; I'm still dealing with coming out to people on a daily basis. I feel like my parents never respected or legitimized my sexual orientation; they may never be grandparents, I may never have a wedding dress, people hate me who don't know me, and suddenly all those GLBT political issues affect their daughter. But it's hard to see if they've made that connection.
It's hard that I've shared such a private and emotional thing wth my parents, and even harder that I've never felt any support for it. I know that I've never felt so connected to anyone before my girlfriend, but I'm still questioning my sexuality. I just wish my parents could be more involved with that.
But at least they're still helping to pay for my college, right?
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This article has 9 comments.
I'm 17, a lesbian, and like many of us out there, I've been kicked out of my family for my choice. If you were straight, your parents would be treating you exactly the same as they are now. Newsflash - being gay is no different than being straight, it's the ignorant masses that make it anything else.
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Favorite Quote:
“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. ”