I’ll never forget the day my parents sat me down on the couch to tell me life changing news. The air felt tense and awkward. My mom was on the verge of tears, and my dad had his lawyer face on. I knew at that moment this was huge. My mom and dad said,
“Your grandpa has pancreatic cancer, our lives our going to be different for a while.”

By then my mom couldn’t hold back the tears. We sat in silence for what seemed like days but were only minutes in the real world. The world that was falling apart. I finally mustered up the courage to ask the hardest question I would ever have to ask as a kid.
“Is grandpa going to die?”

The response came from my mom who was crying as hard as she probably ever will.
“Probably, we aren’t sure though.” It sounded so grotesque at the time, but I soon found out it was the correct response.

Those months were hard on the whole family, my mom especially. Her one and only father the person she was closest to was dying, and she had a front row seat. We spent time at my grandparents’ house every day. It was tough, but we still had some really great family times for birthdays and our annual trip to Wolf Lake. We all knew it would be different next year. I knew we would all miss him. He went through weeks of chemo and radiation but it drained too much of his strength. He would sleep for whole days sometimes, but he wasn’t in pain so it was okay.

The worst day for me was the day that we got the call that grandpa had fallen into a coma. My thoughts at first were people wake up from comas, but I knew deep down this was different. My mom then asked me if I wanted to see him one last time or if I wanted my last memory of him to be him living. I contemplated this for a while but I knew in the end I had to say my last good byes.

I arrived there and had absolutely no idea what to say. I sat for awhile then bent to whisper in his ear. I told him I loved him would never forget him and that I would miss him. It was weird after that.

We move on, but we all have our little memories. The things I miss most would probably be cuddling on the coach watching golf, or him walking into our cabin at Wolf Lake at anytime he wanted to so he could get his favorite thing in the world, my moms home made rice crispy treats.

It’s these memories that I will always remember. Every time I think of those little memories it reminds me how important your family is. You will never know until you lose some one dear to you. So if the question you ask me is what matters? My response forever is family.