Mind of a Mad Man | Teen Ink

Mind of a Mad Man

March 10, 2008
By Anonymous

“Insane”, a word that means that one is diagnosed with a mental disorder. Is it so wrong to be insane, if you were to become a murderer then the answer would most likely be “yes”. Insanity is just a different way of thinking, and if one was to think differently from the rest of society then does that not mean that he is a genius? Great minds may have been put into a dark, white, patted room for years only to be left with their thoughts, only to hide away the beauty of a different mind.
Having worked with the insane for my “senior service project”, it aroused thoughts. Insanity is beautiful, it is beyond comprehension and the ability to see the world from a beautiful perspective. Insanity can also be considered originality, the “insane” enjoy different music, they see beauty in the smallest things and if these beautiful things are to be destroyed they over react and begin to be recognized by “professionals”, to have some sort of mental disorder.
Having been called “insane” on multiple occasions, this is the result of the accusation. The beauty of silence, the beauty of nature, the beauty of music, the beauty of free thought is my trigger, and it arouses my sinful thoughts. As I stared upon the snow through my prison, my glass window and a net designed to keep gods small but irritating creatures out, I came to notice how beautiful dark and gloomy weather was. “KNOCK, KNOCK!!!” I heard, and it disturbed the beautiful thoughts running through my head, the same way a druggie’s cocaine is stripped from them. I reacted harshly to the brutal murder of my silence, and shouted, “What do you want? Why are you so god damn annoying?”
The thoughts running through my head, to my finger tips, to the keys on my computer and finally onto the screen I see before me. “Am I actually insane?” I ask myself as I write this paper, “am I thinking too deeply into the topic or is it just the topic itself arousing my dark thoughts?” The paper is meant to be written about my mind, the paper is meant to explain myself clearly to others who may not understand, why I do the things I do, so that one day I will not have to explain myself to the rest of society. “insanity!” I would not mind being accused as such, as long as I do not have to be put into an insane asylum.
If everyone had to ask them selves, “Who do you want to be?” I can guarantee that the majority of the answers would be, “I want to be Bill Gates, or superman.” I want to be myself! I want to be unique! And I do not want to follow the social norms! I just want to be myself! And if I was ever to say, “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned.” It would be because I followed others, it would be because I could not find a way to be different, or “unique”.
“The cursed door”, you know! The one at the entrance to the Culver Gym, I walk though it every time just to make a point. It could be cursed, but it could just be that someone decided that it was a nice place to take their life, but yet we still go to cemeteries. So why fear the dead, they will not hurt us, for it was their sin and not ours. My life goal is to become a revolutionary, in the way people think, act, and react to dilemmas in such a way that there will no longer have to be “misunderstandings, war, and much more”. Be your self! If you are to be called insane, or weird then thank those who call you by such words, for you have met your goal!

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