Love hurts! Learning how love hurts is a lesson that most everyone will learn sooner or later. It hurts to lose loved ones, it hurts to be away from loved ones, and it hurts to be in love with particular people. The lesson that love hurts is a big theme in a number of literary works. One such work is “ A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini. The book is about the story of two middle eastern women’s lives, that is full of misfortune. Misfortune such as being forced to marry an abusive man named Rasheed. Their characters, along with their abusive husband, all developed by one theme, love hurts, throughout the book. 

    The first way that Mariam learned that love hurts is when her mother committed suicide and when she learned that her father is ashamed of her. Mariam’s mother, Nana, was a bitter woman that wasn’t the best mother to her. They both have a love for each other, but Nana always billeted Mariam. She especially bullied her when it came to Mariam’s father, Jalil. Mariam and her father had a sweeter, kinder relationship than Nana and Mariam’s. Jalil would give Mariam presents, boost her self-confidence, and be very nice to her. Mariam idolizes and admires her father and has mixed feelings about her mother. Because of Nana’s suicide, Mariam learned that love hurts. This is because, on page 38, it states,” All she could hear was Nana saying, I’ll die if you go. I’ll just die. All she could do was cry and cry.” This shows that Mariam learned that love hurts because even though Nana wasn’t the kindest to Mariam, and could downright be verbally abusive, Mariam still had a love for her. As bad as Nana treated Mariam, she was still her mother and Mariam was still her daughter. No one can pick their families. Mariam also learned that love hurts because of her father. After Mariam’s mother died, Mariam saw the real Jalil. According to page 37 and 38,” Afterward, Jalil walked Mariam to the kolba, were, in front of the villagers who accompanied them, he made a great show of tending to Mariam… For the first time, Mariam could hear him with Nana’s eats. She could hear so clearly now the insincerity that had always lurked beneath, the hollow, false assurances.” It hurts when someone you love and admire let's you down. You feel disillusioned and foolish for ever believing in that person. This is probably what Mariam was feeling about Jalil. She finally saw the act Jalil put on to look good. Mariam now sees that she isn’t as important as Jalil’s reputation, she finally sees what Nana been telling her all these years. Mariam wasn’t the same after these two events because of how much loving her parents hurt her. She became meek and lost because of her parents

Laila also was hurt by love. Laila, much like Mariam, had a rocky relationship with her mother. She also loved an idolized her father, Babi. Laila’s mother wasn’t abusive to Laila, but she was neglectful to her because of the death of her older sons. Babi was also not like Jalil because he was proud and always there for his daughter. Unlike Mariam though, Laila had a lover, Tariq, who was her childhood friend. Tariq was the first one to teach Laila about love hurting because he had to leave her. This is because the text states,” “I love you.” How long had she waited to hear those words from him? How many times had she dreamed them uttered? There they were, spoken at last, and the irony crushed her “It’s my father I can’t leave,” Laila said. “I’m all he has left… Laila had to make him leave.” (184) This shows that love hurts because Laila wants to be with Tariq but can’t because of the circumstances around her. For now, this is the last time Laila will be able to see Tariq and that hurts her. It also hurts Tariq because he also wants to be with her and Laila had to force him out before they do something they’ll regret. Laila’s love for her father hurt her love for Tariq. Speaking of Laila’s love for her father, her love for her parents also taught her that love hurts. Laila, unlike Mariam, was always in close proximity to her parents. She was able to have more of a relationship with her parents. Those relationships may not have been the best, like Laila’s relationship with her mother, but they were a bit better than Mariam’s relationships. Laila learned the lesson when her parents were taken away from her. On page 202, it states,” But then some memory would rise, unbidden, and there would be stony silences or spells of churlishness. Withdrawals and collapses. Wan looks. Nightmares and sudden attacks of grief Retching. And sometimes regrets.” Laila earlier on this page was able to do things on her own, but the sudden death of her parents is constantly looming over her like a storm cloud. Their deaths cause Laila a great deal of grief because she loved them. She regrets not being with her parents and longs to see them. She longs to see them and her beloved Tariq.

Now Rasheed is a complicated case. We only know bits and pieces about his life before Laila and Mariam. Rasheed is the man that Mariam was forced to marry after her mother died. He is also the man Laila married for protection after her parents died. Those lovely ladies would have never married Rasheed if they had the choice too, but unfortunately, the didn’t. Rasheed is a static character, a character who remains pretty much the same throughout the story. He is an abusive, cruel man that likes his kids to be male and his wives to be obedient. He may be old but he’s stronger than his wives. Rasheed doesn't love Mariam, Laila, or Laila’s daughter Aziza. Rasheed seemed to only love his sons. Rasheed has been married before, but his wife and first son both drowned in the river. Because of his son being taken away from him, he too has learned that love hurts. This is because according to the book,”  Mariam tried the bottom drawer of the dresser. It was there that she found a picture of a boy, Yunus.” (83) By Rasheed hiding his son’s picture close to him, it shows that Rasheed never got over his son’s death. He hides his son to avoid the regret he feels for his death. Why keep a photo of someone, especially a family member, if you don’t have feelings for that person? If he didn’t have any feelings for his son, then he wouldn’t have his picture. Another way that shows that Rasheed learned that love hurts is the way Rasheed dotes on his new son, Zalmai (Laila and Rasheed’s son). On page 295 it states,” When Zalmai was born, Rasheed had moved him into the bed he shared with Laila... He’d paid for new clothes, new rattles, new bottles, new diapers, even though they could not afford them and Aziza’s old ones were still serviceable.” Rasheed’s special treatment of Zalmai seems like he is trying to give as much love as he can to his son through gifts. He seems to be trying to get rid of his regrets about his previous by showing his new son with as much affection he can give. Rasheed’s love for his Yunus still hurts him, so he feels the need to overcompensate his love for Zalmai.

In conclusion, Mariam, Laila, and even a cruel/less developed like Rasheed, learned the lesson that love hurts over the course of the novel. Mariam learns that love hurts through her mother’s suide and seeing her father’s true colors. Laila learns that love hurts because of the loss of her lover and her parent’s death. Even the horrible Rasheed learned that love hurts because of the death of his first son and his need to spoil his new son. No matter who you are or how terrible you are, you can still experience heartbreak because of love.