It was around 2:00 PM, PST, and the clouds in the sky were about as thick as cotton candy, the sand, cold and lifeless on the beach being covered in what could only be described as a giant shadow caused by the overcast day. I lay on the beach, mindless, numb to the world around me,  thinking of nothing more than the day ahead. “I have to make this last while I can” the simple and yet complicated thought roamed around my head taunting me at every moment I wasted. It wasn’t very often I got to go back home to the city I loved, during a pandemic nonetheless, and yet I was there. In the flesh. Luckily  I had friends who genuinely cared about me, and my visiting on occasion, or I wouldn’t have a place to stay. Enter; Colin, a friend of mine since our swimming days. He always knew he had a place in my heart as a great friend, and I always knew I had a place in his home as a yearly visitor. I’ll never truly know what he thought of me, but by the way we acted towards each other, I think it’s fair to say that we were pals. It had been a little under a year since I had been on the beach of my home city of Long Beach, California, but there weren’t many other people I would have had a better time spending an afternoon with. Colin rose from the ocean with his surfboard in hand and proclaimed: “Better start getting your stuff together, we’re heading out to the Poly bonfire soon.” “Poly”. The name rang out in my head.

It had been ages since I had even acknowledged the existence of it. Before I had moved, before a major stepping stone in my life, before I had known the path I would have chosen with my life, stood Polytechnic highschool, one of the three opposing schools in the city; Millikan, Poly, And Wilson. It had never crossed my mind that I had three choices, when only one made sense. Poly was a school that specializes in everything I could have ever hoped for. I was so close to going I could almost see myself taking classes there, and then I was told we were moving. Tragic, in the mind of my young self at least. I had never known what new opportunities would arise from the momentous occasion. As my train of thought had finished, I had noticed that I had already packed up and was in the car, on my way to the bonfire. The sky slowly started to open up as though it wanted to apologize for giving me the worst beach weather known to man, behind snow. It didn't take long for conversation to begin between Colin's mother and I. I needn't go into the details, but it was nice to talk about all the things I was missing here in my home city. Cars passed by, speeding on the highway so fast it would seem they weren't even there at all. Simply a blur, like past memories all rushing into one brief summary. Even as I write these very words, my memory fades when coming back to these events, so I best work hastily. The car screeched to a halt on the side of the curb, and just like that, the day was losing its strength as time went on. 5:23 PM. The walk to the actual spot of the bonfire itself was tedious, so we passed time with what we always do, talk of time spent elsewhere. We talked of many things, but one thing that seemed to triumph over all other topics was the talk of a perfect vacation. An opinion based question for the ages. Where do I even start on this one?

I know just the place. Malibu, the prettiest city i've ever seen. Allow me to paint a picture,  a college campus, based on a lush green cliff, hanging over the beach, so close, and yet, so far away. I had only been there once before, but it made an impression on me that's near unforgettable. The perfect vacation would be at that location, and would feature fun sports all day, friends, surfing, and finally, a sunset with the people I cared about to top it all off. Colin seemed pleased with my answer, and continued to talk about his also including beaches. “I guess great minds think alike, huh?” he said. I nodded in agreement, but on the inside knew that his mind was greater than mine could ever strive to be, but nevermind that. A more insightful idea had popped into my head instead. If every day was spent in Malibu, would it still be the way you remembered it? Or would it just become the new normal. I had thought of this question with such immersion, because it also applied to my situation in its own way. Maybe I only love coming to Long Beach because I no longer live here. It shook me a little bit, but not for long. I thought: “Regardless of the current situation, maybe I should...” 

“Hey!” an arrogant voice shouted in the distance. Coach Ish, a man I respect with every bone in my body, was at the bonfire to welcome all the swimmers. I expected him to be there, but for some reason I never processed that I would actually get to see him for the first time in a few years. A man of humble origins, just like all of us at one point, I knew him from a bayshore daycare, when I was 7. Fairly, I was not the best child in my younger years, nothing too bad, just annoying to be around. He didn't seem to mind that though, because it never really felt like he tried to shake me off of him like the other counselors. 3 years later the last place I expected to see him was coaching a swim team, but I had never been happier. A man who takes out time in his day to help others improve at what they love deserves all of my respect, and he has it. The bonfire then began.

It was better than I had previously imagined, I mean, for a highschool event and all. It consisted of games of football, cornhole, and a classic pastime, beach volleyball. It was getting close to sunset, we were gathered around the fire and told tales of reality, and its ways in which it had affected our ways with girls of our interest. There were two sides of any story told, either victory, and a long “So now we're dating” type of story. Or a loss, a rejection, and then no more. No person wants to talk about the mistakes in their lives, so I wouldn't consider a rejection to be a laughing matter of highschool students. Unless of course, it was in a more sarcastic way. There were a few hiccups in the night, one kid got sick, another stepped on a bee in the sand, and a few just had to go home before they got a chance to settle in. Alas, no man is safe from Murphy’s law, and we had received a call from Colin’s mother claiming there was a problem at home and we needed to return. I don’t know how he felt, but I was devastated. To be prevented from one of the best parts of my vacation? A disaster, and yet, here we were. We said our goodbyes, and I made them good, knowing my odds of seeing them again were slim to none. The walk back was tiring, and yet, the beauty of it only occurs to me now as a milestone in my life. Walking back, carrying chairs and such, the sun set, and I thought to myself: “Well i’ll be damned”, for I was spending a vacation, with a friend I cared about, walking on the beach, watching the sun set. A moment of nothing but inner beauty, for had I had been focused on the downside of leaving, I probably wouldn’t have been so close to a friend in such a dire time to him too, I would assume. That moment didn’t change me, it changed my perception.I don't remember that moment because of the fun I had, I remember it because of its bitter sweet ending.  “With every cloud a silver lining’’- Barnum.