We, as a society, have created a very straightforward, heteronormative view of gender and sex. and I feel it is crucial to educate people about all the intricacies of the subject so our society can grow to become more accepting. For example, many people think of gender and sex as the same thing and think there are only two sexes, but that is completely untrue. There are many different scientifically identified sexes and, to keep the list short I will focus on male, female, and intersex.

Many people aren’t very familiar with the term “intersex”. But that's why I’m here, so I can explain it and make things less confusing and hopefully help you become more open minded. Intersex is basically a sort of “in between” of male and female. There's many types and everyone can look different. Their chromosomes are also composed differently. Obviously when people think of chromosomes they imagine xx and xy chromosomes. However, Intersex individuals can have a multitude of different chromosome combinations. The most common are xxy, xxx, xyy, or just a singular x chromosome. A very reputable source to inform yourself further on this topic is Planned Parenthood or Medical News Today. Chromosomes are like apples. Most people know of green apples and red apples, but there are so many different types of green and red apples. Some apples are red and green, or neither, and there are even different scientifically recognized apples that look red or green. This is because even sex itself is not a strict one or the other thing. It's a fluid spectrum, just like gender.

I want to start this part by saying gender is not real, it's a social construct, and it is so much more than the chromosomes you were born with. For instance you wouldn’t see an animal acting in a ‘feminine’ way because it is a biological female, it would just act like an animal. People are taught how to act like a woman or a man; it isn’t a naturally occurring thing. It is simply a result of society creating roles based around biological features. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t allowed to say you are a man or woman or whatever, it just means that our society is really the only beings that have created social standards and roles based on people’s sex and there is plenty of research that proves this. No other species has been recorded to show signs of gender roles because gender simply doesn’t exist for them. Gender does not have to be a “cookie cutter” type thing. It can be whatever you want it to be. Because of gender being a social construct that means that it, and sex, are not the same thing and that is a fact not an opinion. So that already invalidates many folks’ arguments that gender is what you were assigned with at birth. Gender is simply a feeling you have; it is just whatever you want to identify as. So someone assigned “female” as a sex at birth can be a man, they just have to say they are one. And we as a society just have to learn to embrace and respect that, whether or not we understand it.

But just because you identify with a certain gender does not mean you have to conform to society’s stereotypes and standards for that group. Just because I am a nonbinary person does not mean I am not allowed to dress femininely or masculinely. Nonbinary people do not owe society androgyny. Same goes for women and men, just because they identify a certain way doesn’t mean they have to be feminine or masculine. Now I’m not saying men are not allowed to enjoy stereotypically masculine things, I am simply saying that just because they like something feminine or not masculine it doesn’t make them less of a man. Anybody is allowed to wear and enjoy whatever the f*ck they want. It doesn’t dictate their identity just because someone likes something that is associated with a binary gender.

To help understand the complexities and fluidity of gender I made a survey and had fellow peers fill it out so I can share some personal experiences. Before I get into those I would like to talk about how every single person on this planet has pronouns. Pronouns are simply how people refer to you. They don’t equal gender; they don’t make you gay; and they don’t make you trans. Just because my pronouns are “they slash he” (they/he), it doesn't mean I am in any way, shape, or form, a man simply because I don’t identify that way. He/Him pronouns are valid, she/her pronouns are valid, they/them pronouns are valid. Any and all pronouns are valid because they aren’t real. They are simply made up words that we use to refer to each other. Those of you who are thinking, “Well they/them is grammatically incorrect, you can’t refer to one person using they” that is factually incorrect. I doubt you’ve noticed but I have been using they in a singular sense throughout this entire presentation. And even if they weren't, why should you care? Just go with it, language is made up anyway. You just need to respect people whether you understand it or not.

But finally onto the experiences that were shared in the survey. I noticed many people who identify with their assigned sex, aka cisgender people, don’t feel anything about their gender. It simply exists that way. And a good amount of cisgender folks, more specifically men, didn’t even know what cisgender meant. Instead of just choosing the option “Cis man”, many would fill “man” or “male” into the “other” option which was there for people with more complex gender identities. Adding onto the experience part of the survey, trans people had much more complex feelings towards their gender, especially nonbinary people. Some people talked about their dysphoria, feeling like not quite one gender or the other, and not knowing how they were supposed to feel about their gender. For me personally, my gender feels like static, it isn’t clearly one thing. It really isn’t anything; this is why I personally identify with being agender. Because it makes me happy. Some people don’t even label themselves because it is so confusing.

In my survey there were two submissions that really stood out to me. Both were cisgender men who are clearly just ignorant. I don’t want to believe they are hateful, just uneducated. The first had said he not only did not have pronouns but also trans people would always be the sex they were assigned at birth. This only stood out to me because it's such a common way of thinking, but I want to help fix that way of thinking and help educate people. I am not here to sit here and call you stupid and a bigot for simply not understanding unless you are this way on purpose. Questions are allowed and welcomed with open arms. But the next submission I read was not as clearly “just not understanding”. This man had said his pronouns were “nor slash mal”. Now this may seem like a harmless little joke, but it really isn't. This implies people who are transgender are not normal, and should not be treated as such. This is what we would call a “microaggression”; It doesn’t seem like anything harmful but it really is, despite how small it seems. This prevents us from learning that everyone has pronouns and trans people are, in fact, normal. It’s just like the “I identify as an attack helicopter” jokes from a few years ago in response to nonbinary people becoming more open about their identities. We now know those jokes aren't exactly “cool” to make, so why does it make nor/mal jokes appropriate?

The majority of the survey participant responses were pleasantly surprising for me however, because I was not expecting as many people to be respectful transgender people as I see how they are treated in media. Transgender people are typically treated as freaks, as different, or as the butt of the joke in majority of media. As of recently there have been so few positive roles in modern shows, books, music, etc. So the fact that so many people are supportive is a breath of fresh air, but I still don’t think it is enough. I shouldn’t be surprised my peers don’t hate my existance simply because I am transgender. It is not too much to ask my generation to be 10 times louder and more upfront about their support. In fact, because of their support being essentially concealed I was afraid to be open about my identity. I almost decided it would be easier to be guaranteed misery than even risk being targeted because of how I identify. So all I, and the rest of the trans community, ask of you is that you are open about your acceptance and your willingness to learn so then so many people like me don’t have to live in fear and depression.

It is good to see that my generation seems to be much more progressive than previous ones even if it is the bare minimum of respect. But we need to keep progressing, otherwise our society can not advance. And I am praying that our society progresses even more with future generations, which we as future parents are completely responsible for and it is a choice you should think over in depth. I hope that you are able to walk away from this presentation a little more open-minded than you were before.