Polygamy, Polyamory, and Society | Teen Ink

Polygamy, Polyamory, and Society

August 31, 2011
By Anonymous

In my opinion, I have too many friends that are pointlessly heartbroken.
First off, I feel the need to establish what exactly I'm talking about. Predominately, I'm talking about polyamory, which is not the same thing as polygamy. Poly means multiple, "gamy" refers to marriage, compared to "amory", which means loves. Multiple marriages verus multiple loves.

When people hear the term polygamy, those who aren't totally clueless think only of the occasional news reports surrounding select polygamous Mormon communities. Generally, this type of polygamy is patriarchal, or male-centered. In the traditional Mormon faith, it was encouraged for a man to take at least three wives. Most of the time, the brides chosen were underage. Sometimes they were even related to the groom. Almost all the time they had, and continue to have no say in the marriage.
The main role of women in these marriages is to support her husband, run a household with the other wives, and have as many children as possible.
I do not agree with this.

The similarities between polygamy and polyamory end at "poly". Most people assume they're the same thing. This assumption is ridiculously far from the case. The main difference between the two lifestyles is that polyamorous people are free, not to be caged against their will. They date whom they want, pursuing multiple relationships simultaneously. This is different from cheating in that all involved parties are aware and comfortable with what's going on.

Some polyamorous incorporate fidelity, or commitment into the relationship, although this is uncommon. Most people involved in polyamorous lifestyles don't believe in the same standards of commitment that are idealized by society. Instead, honesty and trust are key factors, which lets each individual experience complete romantic, emotional, and sexual freedom.

I believe in the idea of polyamory, because to me it's completely logical. Think about it for a second. We, as animals, are not programmed to choose one mate and spend the rest of our existence with them, faithfully. It's not realistic. I don't believe you should have to subtract someone you love from your life instead of adding someone to it.
Based on this, I feel that exclusively monogamous relationships (that is two people in a relationship who are committed to each other) are impractical and against nature. You don't have the right to own or rule over another person's life, nor choose their decisions for them.

A significant deterrent in the appeal of polyamory is jealousy. Realistically, jealously is a petty, pointless emotion that serves no purpose other than to cause harm. For the most part, jealousy stems from greed or one's own insecurities about themselves or their life. I feel that jealousy is something that is to be overcome.

Sadly, because monogamy has been so normalized in our society, most people are conflicted and critical of the idea of loving more than one person at once.

I honestly believe the world would be more productive if polyamory and monogamy switched roles. There would be no burden of numerous Twilight books; they could end with the second book, and Bella could live a full and satisfying life with her two supernatural boyfriends, which would bypass the events of the next two novels.

There truly is no limit on how polyamorous relationships work.
There could be 3 people who all love each other equally.
There could be a woman with a boyfriend who has another girlfriend, or vice versa.
There could be two women together who each have partners of their own: there's no real limit on what is possible, although the idea probably takes some getting used to.

Love is not something that should be lost for no reason. Love is not a pie; the more slices there are does not mean each slice contains less.
It is one of my greatest hopes that polyamory will eventually be accepted in society, and not looked down upon and avoided because of misinformation.


The author's comments:
Just a piece I gave a speech on in high school for a persuasive writing assignment.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Jul. 4 2022 at 6:34 pm
ILiveToRead PLATINUM, Wailuku, Hawaii
24 articles 3 photos 150 comments
Well done, you expressed an opinion that I myself have always felt needed to be expressed. You did it clearly and concisely. I enjoyed this article very much.

on Nov. 28 2021 at 1:00 pm
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
200 articles 23 photos 1053 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

I know this is old, but to anybody in present-day reading this, Mormon is an incorrect term. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and we are not mormons. We are also not polygamous. polygamy was abolished in the early years of the Church and was only implemented because at the time a woman could not take care of herself in the political and economic enviroment, and because of persecution women drasticlly outnumbered men. when masses of people started shooting at religeous minorities in the 1800s, they usually targeted men, leaving orphans and widows. as a solution, polygamy was temporarily implemented so that women and children could be taken care of. this was the hardest thing many members had to do[keep in mind, these people were shot at for fun. these people were also my ancestors.]. Polygamy was abolished when the population evened out and the need was no longer there.

on Sep. 14 2011 at 1:48 pm
gnihtlaicositna GOLD, Nova Scotia, Other
14 articles 0 photos 7 comments
Also, I apologize for the numerous errors in some parts of the article, apparently the conversion from Word to this format didn't go so well. Sorry!

on Sep. 14 2011 at 1:47 pm
gnihtlaicositna GOLD, Nova Scotia, Other
14 articles 0 photos 7 comments
Thank you :-) that means a lot to me.

on Sep. 14 2011 at 1:25 pm
I'm proud to see teens voicing an educated opinion on this topic. :)