Freshman year of high school: My freshman year was not so ideal. It was right when Covid was starting so I didn't have the normal high school experience. Learning was really difficult for me and being quarantined and trying to learn was not an easy task. Anytime I was struggling, my dad was always right there with me, helping me along the way. He always told me “you're not stupid, you just need to try harder, you are very smart but you need to put in more effort.” I finished my freshman year not having done so well in school but my dad was always right there with me, pushing me to do my best.

Sophomore year: Sophomore year started off better, I made a deal with myself that I was going to focus more on school and make sure I tried my hardest. All for my dad. Beginning of the year was going well. I had good grades and was getting all my homework done on time. My dad would always email me during school telling me I was doing so good and that he was proud of me. Middle of the year I started to get really sad all of the time and my grades started to plummet. I would go home and sob in my room because I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know what to do because if I told my parents that I was falling behind they would punish me. 

Finally one day I knew I was too far gone and emailed my dad during school telling him that I was struggling and that I just didn't feel like myself. Life was like an endless black hole. He emailed me back about a half an hour later and the only thing he said in the email was “School is not going to be easy or pleasant if this is how it's going to go. I love you and I want you to succeed. You need to just breathe and do what you can.” Immediately after I got another email from him saying “You know that I am so proud of the person you are.” I sit at my desk just thinking. No matter how much I mess up, my dad will always, always reassure me that I can do this. 

Junior year: Junior year started off good. I told my dad that this year was going to go so well and I was going to do so well. That didn't happen. Depression really got to me and took over my life. Meanwhile it felt like me and my mom were going through a war against each other. I woke up every morning with a terrible attitude. I never wanted to go to school. I would text my dad and tell him how much I hated school and that I couldn't go on any further. He made sure that I started doing better in school. He would sit down with me at the table and watch me do my homework making sure to help me when I was stuck. On the last day of school I texted him and told him that I passed my math final. He responded with “Yess!!! You had a great finish to the year. I'm so proud of the work you did!” I responded with “I could've done better but this just leaves room for improvement.” He said back, “Your effort is what was important.”

I will never be able to live without my dad.