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He’s Gone
This day will forever be engraved in my mind. My anxiety was already caving in on me and then to make it worse my grandparents told me that my family was coming over for an important discussion. The anticipation drove me crazy all day and when the moment arrived, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Tears fell from my eyes as I stepped out of my room and saw my family gathered in the living room. My mind was racing with so many thoughts, the biggest one being “What is happening?” As I settled onto the couch, I was delivered devastating news. "He's gone, Laylah.” These words would forever change the rest of my life. My immediate reaction was to deny it. It simply couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening to me. After all the effort he had put into staying clean, could it all really be gone this fast? But as the denial stage went away, reality set in. I was forced to accept that this real. My dad was truly gone. Thankfully, with the support of my family, the grieving process was not as bad as I imagined. However, it did begin to change my perspective on life. I began to question the purpose of living. That one moment ruined everything I had known – my relationship with God, my relationship with myself, and my relationship with the world around me. I began to isolate myself. I didn’t want this to feel real. Time went on but nothing seemed to change. It was the same routine everyday for two years. This felt like a burden on me. But overtime I realized i couldn’t let this affect me forever. This was a learning experience and i needed to make something of it. I decided it was time to better my relationship with not just everyone, but mostly myself.
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This piece is dedicated to my father who sadly passed 4 years ago.