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Fear as a Child
People may think spanking isn’t a large discussion among society today; those
people are incorrect. Amazingly spanking is one of the most heated debates up to date. It
may be because we are pulling race, social class, parenting, and emotional abuse out of
one subject. Hitting your child is viewed in many ways, whether it teaches them
they’re wrong and needs to be punished; or just plain abuse.
Of course in each debate there many who agree or disagree. Those who agree
with hitting may state, “We are teaching our child to respect us, and a life lesson.” Yes,
we are indeed teaching them a life lesson, a lesson not to go against their word or else
we’ll be punished. But there are many other approaches to discipline them; a time out,
losing privileges, or simply talking to them.
Research has shown hitting a child can have much more of a negative effect
more than a positive one. hitting can lead to long term emotional issues down the line.
A mother should not let their child experience such a thing. Being hit once can even
give a lasting impression of fear and hatred. Yes, we fear our mother or father now, but
down the line fear turns into hate.
Hitting isn’t a simple topic, we must discuss race as well. Caucasians aren’t
usually the ones to hit, in our modern society here in America. Yet African Americans
have a much higher rate, this may be due to the years of slavery in the 1700’s. African
American mothers have admitted to being hit as a kid, and their mother being
hit as well. The chain goes further and further. As for Asian Americans hitting is
also quite common. Being Asian American myself I was hit, but from what I can
recall it was only one time. My brother on the other hand, was not so lucky, being a male
he was punished by hittings. From what I saw, being hit was a way of showing respect. I
grew up believing if we do not respect our elders, we are nothing but trash. Thus, if we
were to act up, we were hit; striking fear into our minds. Hispanic Americans are also
prone to hitting. Some research has shown it was due to areas where hitting is okay, and
it’s a common way to be punished. It amazes me how race can play a factor into an issue
like this.
Financial wealth can determine whether a parent may hit or spank their child.
Those of a wealthier class don’t feel the need to punish in such a manor. While those of a
unstable financial status often feel stressed and take their anger out on their child by
Hitting when needed to. Of course middle classes are varied and unpredictable.
Possible stress from work or anger from a parents’ daily life made add a ripple effect to
their child.
There’s always the potential for emotional abuse as well. Varying on the child it
self, but Psychologist have studied hitting your child between certain ages can change
their behavior later on. Ages from 3-5 being Hit showed the child’s behavior has far
more aggression than those of a child who’s never been hit. Child aggression could
very well lead to depression as a teenager, or more acting out. We know teens tend to
have ‘phases’ where they act out and defy their parents. Hitting could very well add to
that. Mothers and often time’s fathers say they’re helping the child, preparing them for
life ahead of them. Just because it worked for them does not mean it works for everyone
else.
Hitting a child is not the same as disciplining them. Others may think the best way
to teach a child anything is by physical violence. Such as hitting a dog when it disobeys
you. But a child is definitely by any means not an animal. Simple hitting them cannot
change their behavior, we must talk and discuss the reasons why and what they did
wrong. Or they may live in fear or hatred.
Sadly, within the family itself can be troublesome. While one spouse may
condone hitting their child mildly; such as hitting. The other may not. I has even done
so far as leading to a divorce over their child’s well-being. A father may say they were
brought up in that manner and from experience may say its perfectly natural. But the
mother may not have had the same experience and completely disagrees. There is no end
to this topic. Some families are even taught it’s perfectly fine to punish your child
physically; we should be the generation to prove to all else, its not fine. Its hurting the
one we care most.
Let us be the generation to change, to cause a chain reaction. Let us say, “It’s not
okay,” because someone has to. I cannot imagine myself hitting someone whom I’d care
deeply for, an image of my own DNA. To see them cry in fear and scream they hate me,
of course that would hurt me. I can try and lie to myself, and say it was for the best. But
the results will not lie for me. Don’t hurt your child, pain does not equal love.
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More of an Art person anyways.