So you want to master the art of procrastination, huh? Maybe it’s a 10 page thesis paper due tomorrow that you have yet to begin. Maybe it’s a web-design you promised your boss you’d have done by midnight. Well, when it’s 7PM and you’re still staring at a blank screen, follow these instructions to avoid catastrophe. Catastrophe being the look of contempt you receive when you once again have nothing to contribute- leaving your boss to wonder why they ever hired you or your professor questioning what could have possibly kept you from writing a paper you were given months to complete.

1. Gather your supplies
It’s early evening and you’re already dragging, you know that pot of coffee will be necessary if you want to prevent waking up with a keyboard imprint on your forehead- so get that brewing. Also, make sure that everything you could possibly need to complete whatever it is you’re doing is in the general vicinity of your workspace. You know just as well as I do that if you have to trek out to the living room to find a blue pen, that shiny tv with netflix only a button push away will beckon to you. If this situation arises, you will inevitably find yourself on the couch with glazed over eyes half obstructing your view of episode 23 of the third season of The Office that’s blaring from the television. First you’ll wonder how 4 hours could have passed and then you’ll question how the hell you forgot your blue pen in the first place.

2. Turn off your phone
I know this one’s hard. I mean what if your best friend can't decide on the red boots or the black heels, or what if your mother has a breakdown and needs to hear her baby’s voice, or worse- what if your significant other decides that you two are no longer a perfect fit and tries to call you to talk about it, but can’t reach you and ends up leaving a voicemail that says- “If you can’t even pick up the phone when I call you, how can you love me?!” No. Just no. Get a grip. Anyone who could need to contact you in such an urgent manner has to have a way to do so other than your cell phone. Your best friend, your mother, your partner- they all know where you live. Turning off your phone is not equivalent to dropping off of the face of the planet. Take a deep breath and hit the off button, I promise you’ll be okay and no relationships will be severed.

3. Close unnecessary computer tabs
I'm positive that whoever made it so work has to be done on the internet is evil incarnate. How is one supposed to focus when The Lumineers are tweeting links to free tracks, friends from elementary school are posting pictures of their vacation to St. Croix, and a new .gif of Jennifer Lawrence is circulating around tumblr? There is a simple, yet extremely difficult fix for this problem. Close the tabs and keep them that way. If you have enough will to close your distracting tabs and not reopen them for a few hours, none of that can reign you in. Be strong fellow procrastinators. Besides, if you stay off for a few hours there will tons more to sift through when you return. Once this project is finished you are free to waste away on the internet to your heart’s content.

4. Figure out what you’re supposed to be doing
A major mistake many procrastinators make, is sitting down with the intent of finishing all of their work in one night, just to realize that they have absolutely no idea what they should be doing. Email your boss, go through your notes, find that little book where you’re supposed to write down assignments and see if you at least did that much. Don’t be the one that goes “Eh, I don’t know what I should be doing, so I’m not going to do it.” Sift through your memory, ask your classmates, do whatever it is that you have to do. Just figure it out.

5. Do it

Yes, this may seem like a self explanatory step, but fact of the matter is that many procrastinators prepare for a night full of rushed work, but find that in reality they complete nothing. Maybe it's a sign of rebellion. Your teacher wants a thesis paper tomorrow? You don't have to listen to them. Your boss wants a project done by midnight? They can deal with noon tomorrow. Maybe you simply don’t want to do whatever it is you have to do. You are never going to want to do something that will lead you to this list. If you’re assigned something that you’re ecstatic about doing, you’ll do it- most likely within an acceptable time frame and not the night before it’s supposed to be finished. The things you hate doing are the things you put off, but just because you hate doing them doesn’t make them any less important. So hike up your pants and act like the young adult (or old adult) you are, and get your work done, you’ve put it off long enough. When you’re finished you can go back to doing whatever it is you were doing instead of your assignment and continue on until the next night full of cramming.