I know what it’s like to make friends. I know what it’s like to lose friends. I even know how it’s like when your rival becomes your friend and then hates you more than ever, which is precisely my story.

It started out as a joke- using email to “stalk” him, which I shouldn’t have done. I made him give a CD back to his best friend, but he found out the next day through one of my famous careless mistakes that it was me- his stand partner in orchestra. We were forever trying to beat each other, which was unfair because I had only played for a short amount of time compared to his ten years.

The next crucial part was after I had become single again and I had noticed that he and his best friend weren’t talking. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that it was none of my business. I pointed out that it wasn’t any of his business to ask me why I had broken up with my boyfriend.

Somewhere, I got the insanely random idea of swapping stories. It turned out to be something stupid- but a deal’s a deal, and I told him everything. I was surprised that he was so good at giving advice- he was honestly the last person I expected to be that way. Basically, he helped me after I was deserted and friendless. Even though I knew what he was going to say, it still helped me know I was right.

He even stood up to my ex-boyfriend for me. I was amazed, because we were never actually friends. In fact, I wondered why I was telling him everything- and just like that, he said, “Ok, fine. We’re friends” and kept giving me advice like it was no big deal. I thought that he had absolutely hated me after last year- because I had managed to beat him just once.

Everything went very well for quite some time. Some time, in fact, until my new friends told me that he liked me. I denied it for a long time- he did as well- and then I gave up. He was acting so nice. He usually is mean and hateful, but everything he said to me was nice, friendly, and kind. He even talked to me at school about little things, and I taught him the Rubik’s Cube.

But then he started backing away and getting scared. He knew that I liked him. I just knew that he knew. The only reason I ever liked him, however, was because I thought that he liked me. And even now, I’m not so sure if he did or not. There’s evidence for both views. Frankly, I’m disappointed that he allowed such a little, petty thing to come between us. I’m not saying that I was right, I’m saying that he could have been more forgiving.

I realized this- don’t let a relationship or possibility of a relationship come between a beautiful friendship. Don’t let your friendship be like mine was, because there are some things you can’t take back.