On the couch my father sits,

With the clicker in his hand.

He's practiced for years, and he's become

The best flipper in all the land.

He's got a Pepsi for self-confidence

Clenched in his other hand.

The channel's been the same too long,

But Daddy's going to make a stand.

His button finger trembles,

But his resolve,

It never crumbles.

The TV won't be toyed with,

The screen goes fuzzy and it grumbles.

The channel was on "Hee Haw,"

But now it's on the weather.

Dad's fingers dance over the remote control,

Almost lighter than a feather.

"Designing Women," "Major Dad,"

And "Night Court" all flash by.

After MTV and "The A-Team"

The dog begins to cry.

He pauses on Home Shopping Club,

Then it's off to "Sesame Street,"

He can't be stopped, he's on a roll,

But the TV won't be beat.

A humming noise erupts,

The screen beings to blur,

Dad changes it to "Family Feud,"

The noise changes to a whir.

The windows shatter, the screen explodes,

Dad goes to get his slippers.

He needs another Pepsi,

But he's still king of channel flippers.