I was lost somewhere between my mother and my father feeling like part of a country divided and at war. I needed to decide which country to support. My father, being the aggressive country, wanted me to live with him and go to Marian High School to receive a better education than I could find in a public school. My mother, being the defending country, wanted me to stay on Cape Cod and attend the public school in her town.

I was being told by the opposing sides that I could do what I thought was best for me. Each side attempted to influence my decision with subtle antagonism toward the opposition. The pressure I was under from these two fighting countries felt like walls closing in around me. I could not find a way out of the room and it was growing smaller with each day that passed. There was no door to escape. I wanted this choice to disappear like the sun disappears behind a cloud, but then the rain would come, as my parents' voices fell upon me. Their words were slowly drowning me. I pulled my head above the water long enough to decide to remain loyal to my mother "country." It felt as though the walls were receding, but later I found myself trapped again as I went into a building that had no exit.

The country I had chosen to support neglected its responsibilities and continued to depend upon the aggressive country that it was divided from. I travelled the easy route that led to a bumpy couple of years. This important step backward (as it may seem to have proved) lead me forward with ease. I have learned to examine each choice as a hawk examines its prey from the sky.

Every decision I make affects my life more than anyone else's and I must make decisions that I can live with. If I follow my good judgment, and do what I feel is best, I will find peace, unlike my parents, the divided country. n