My entire time in high school has never felt the way I expected it to. Growing up watching Disney Channel with constant excitement and joy projected towards high school and teenage years. To my surprise that didn’t happen. 

Freshman year was exciting and new until the pandemic hit and the people I thought were friends had been foes. Freshman year came to an end as sophomore year began with a complete switch to my mental state. Friends weren’t sticking around like they used to. It became harder to talk to people and socialize even focusing in class. 

Junior year I was alone. Lunch was spent in the bathroom either reading to distract my mind from feeling like it would fizzle out or stare blankly at the wall contemplating why I was here. I would always leave the bathroom halfway through lunch and campout inside my next class. Like every other day I left the bathroom with a blushed face and watery eyes to sit inside Mr. Richiles room. He taught AP Euro next hour which I only joined because I’m fascinated by the mysteries European history has to offer. I sat scrolling through my phone mindlessly just trying to distract myself from the internal war going on in my head. 

Clonky footsteps entered into the room; which really only ment Mr. Richlie, who seems to be a giant, entered. Greeting me he said “how ya doing today Ava” which to even hear anyone ask how I was doing that wasn’t a key figure in my life made a single tear fall. 

Composing myself I replied “could be better.”

He didn’t reply which made my anxiety swell again. He seemed to be digging around for something in his desk. Thinking he’s just looking for his teacher things I glanced back at my phone. There was more loud clonking of Mr. Reichle’s shoes on the carpet which grew louder until they were followed by a quiet placement of a Dove Inspirational chocolate on my desk. He didn’t say anything just gave me a chocolate on his way out of the room. Again I felt my eyes watering. I had never felt seen without saying anything or even felt like a teacher cared about how I was feeling emotionally. I carefully peeled back the tinfoil to save the quote. Which read “after every storm must come a rainbow no matter how long it might take to show up”. Yes, the quote is cheesy, but it really helped to realize that I wasn’t at the end. I also had never felt like I had a teacher who saw how I was truly feeling. If it wasn’t for that small gesture I think I would have kept my mind in the gutter all day and wouldn’t have started to appreciate people and the connections we make even if they are small. To this day I keep the wrapper tucked under the visor of my car to always remind me that things get better. I also wonder if Mr. Reichle understood how I was feeling and the impact his small gesture had on me even though I wasn’t the best student to have.