Not having a father figure is tuff. Not having someone teach you how to shave, bring you fishing, or take you places, but I have a lot to remember about my dad; he was a good person, just not that good a father.

When my dad was with me it was the best he would pick me up from preschool and get me food and bring me to Target to get a toy and some snacks for us. It would always be a Thomas the Train toy. He would always have a smile on his face. He would always put on my favorite show and we would play with Thomas the train toys. Somedays we would go back to my mom's house and this is when we lived in Fridley. We would go downstairs and play with Hot Wheels, watch a movie, or play with Nerf guns. But without him it sucks. But that made me believe he was a good father.

One afternoon. My mom and dad went outside with me. We were playing in the driveway and all of a sudden. My dad takes off sprinting. All I see is the neighbor kid on the road and my dad running. the kid was about to get hit by a car Luckily my dad scoped the kid off the ground and ran him back to his mom. She thanked my dad and then went inside. That made me believe that my dad was a good person. He had a business down in Winona MN called the handy corner. He owned it with his dad. But now he is not a good dad. He left me and my mom when I was around 3-5 years old.

Since that day I have wanted to find my dad. That's all I wanted to do when I grew up or he would just find us. I always asked my mom where she was and she didn't even know.  That led me to think he was not a good father. He left me and my mom without a trace of him going anywhere. He didn't tell me I had a sister. But in 2021 he died. I didn't even get invited to the funeral. So now I want to find his grave. But I don't know where it is and none of his friends know where it is. So all I think is what bad dad I had. But now I want him back here because it is hard living without a father figure or just having a dad. It sucks not being able to give your father, Father's Day gift. Coming home to your dad saying “How was school”, “How was your day”. Doing fun stuff with your dad.

So I have found out that it is tough to live without your dad or father figure and even my mom has had a hard time with most of my life it was just my grandpa being my father figure but now my mom got a boyfriend so now I have 2 father figures. It may be hard initially, but if you stay strong, you can get through it.