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Toilet Monster
When I was really young I would wash my hands, flush the toilet and then sprint out of the bathroom. Not to say I don’t still do that, because just maybe I still do. My dad used to always say jokingly “the toilet is going to overflow, ahh, run Zo!” So, consequently, I grew up always thinking the toilet is going to overflow, and then a monster would eat me.
This fear has never rested, and most likely never will. Years later, if there is a piece of toilet paper in the toilet, I’ll go find a different bathroom. You just can’t ever know if the toilet will get clogged or not.
The day before thanksgiving this year I was sitting at the kitchen table doing my homework. My grandparents had just arrived from Cape Cod, and we were talking. They were asking all the normal grandparents-granddaughter questions, and I was giving them common answers with my nose stuck in Jane Eyre. My dad came into the room, grabbed the duct tape, and then quickly left when I asked him what it was for. A few minutes later he came back into the room with my sister and said, “Come on, Zo, let’s go to the library and the supermarket.”
I happen to absolutely love going to the library and supermarket, but I had a lot of homework to do too. They talked me into it quickly because I give in very easily, and my dad went into the downstairs bathroom. I always, always, always go to the bathroom before leaving the house, so I went upstairs to the bathroom my sister and I share. There was a piece of toilet paper in the toilet, so I walked to my parent’s bathroom, hearing their floor creak beneath my footsteps. My sister was in their room for some reason I didn’t consider, and my dad was coming up the stairs, probably to grab money or something. I went into the bathroom and lifted the toilet’s lid.
There was a big red monster duct taped to the toilet! I ran, screamed, and hid under my parent’s covers. While I was completely freaking out about my fear come true, my dad and my sister were rolling on the floor, laughing their brains out. After about ten minutes of that, they went into the bathroom to see their handiwork, and I went back in to see the monster once again. I screamed and ran out. It turned out that we actually didn’t have to go to the supermarket or library anyway, so all that screaming for nothing.
Later that night, my mom went to use her bathroom. My dad and sister had not yet removed the monster. We all looked knowingly at each other from the couch as we heard her walk up the stairs. She screamed a minute later and ran down stairs. We finally filled my grandparents in and told them what had happened.
I talked quickly, “I went into Mommy and Daddy’s bathroom and then, then there was this monster!” I made a large motion with my arms. “It was, like, going to eat me or something! It attached to the toilet seat so when you open the cover it jumps!”
Kayla continued, “Dad and I put it in their toilet to scare Mom and Zo because we knew that they would see it. We should do it tomorrow too, and scare everyone!”
They thought we were crazy, and unfortunately did not let us scare their friends when they came for thanksgiving dinner. I no longer think there is a limit to what you can buy on eBay.
Now, I am more afraid than ever that a toilet will overflow and the monster is going to come and eat me. I know it is a completely irrational fear because I have never seen a toilet overflow or eat someone, but I would like to keep it that way.
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