April 16th of 2015, it was a warm spring day kids played outside in a refreshing sprinkler. This was at the end of my 6th-grade year. What seemed to be a nice sunny day turned into a dark black stormy one in my mind. With the storm in my brain, it seemed cold and isolating. But let’s start when it all began...  

In the morning I got up to babysit my brother, which was my normal routine. It was sunny, warm and blue sky, so I decided to start the sprinkler for my brother and my cousins. My mom had left for the store so I knew I had to keep in eye on them. She was gone for a few hours, when she came back she seemed mad, but I left it alone. We had finished unloading all of our groceries and she called me to talk to me.  As I walked in the living room she started yelling at me, saying rumors were going around that she is a bad mother. She blamed me, saying it was my fault because I do whatever I want. My mom was planning on leaving again so to get my brother away from the argument I took him and put him in our big blue car. 

Now to avoid anything worse and to calm myself down, I went to my room. I was already being bullied so I kinda wasn’t having a good day. But once I heard talking, I stopped and listened. It was my mom and aunt, they were talking about me. I remember my mom saying "You will be the next person to be on the news raped, dead, or missing”. My aunt replied with “no she will be the next to be 16 and pregnant”. It was bad enough I was dealing with bullying from strangers, but to be bullied by my own family was worse. I felt my little hands shaking, and the warm stream of tears that ran down my face. I had enough so I decided that it would be best if I killed myself. With a black long sweater tie, I took it and tied it around my neck. I then went into that white but dark closet and almost tied the other side to the brown wooden closet rod; until I heard adult footsteps coming down the hallway to my bedroom. I jumped up and hid in a lonely corner of my room. My mom was the one who walked in. I struggled to get the tie off of my neck as my face was changing its color to blue. My mom was mad, she had a hand of guilt that slapped me over and over again. The strong sting hurt so bad it was like I could smell my arm burning from all the pain. To get away I ran to my uncle to get the tie off of my neck. I slowly could feel my breathing go down from tying it so tight. My uncle even said it tore his hands to get it off of me.  He soon then called my grandma to come to our house. And my mom called her boyfriend, he was the first to show up. He went over to our white small washer to pick up one of the wire hooks up. He then looks at me, and said “if you are crazy to do it then, do it in front of me, or I will do it for you”. My mom looked at me like she expected me to. She showed no emotion from her boyfriend telling me that. The adults then brought all the kids inside and took me outside. Outside they all yelled at me; my mom and her boyfriend talked about how I wanted attention as my aunt talked about what if the kids found me. My uncle stood behind everyone looking over their heads as they yelled at me. The look on his face gave me the sense he was sorry, he seemed like his heart ached for me. I could tell that he wanted to say something but couldn’t get the words out. With sad dark blue eyes and frown, I had hope that someone was caring for me at the moment. I feel like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what would be the right thing to say. 

Finally, my grandma had gotten to the house. She picked me up off of the ground where I sat rocking back and forth holding my knees. My grandma then hugged me and told everyone I need to go to the ER. So to the hospital we went, where I sat for a few hours and family came to visit me. Shortly after we left we went back to my aunt's house where we were staying at; I was told to pack to my stuff so I did. That was the start to bettering myself.

Living with my grandma taught me, even though if one person doesn’t care others will. My mom didn’t care, but my grandma did. I grew close to the family in my grandmother's house, as they supported me I supported myself. I still face challenges today. But instead of ending it like I would like to, I know I can talk to someone who is willing to listen.