Chapter 1

“It’s going to be ok, honey”

I can feel each stressed pump of my heart

“They know what they are doing”

I can’t feel my fingertips

“Please don’t cry”

My throat is closing up

“Just hold my hand and everything will be ok”

I clench her hand and refuse to let go.

“Tell me about school, what did my little scholar do today?”

I try to choke out the words but fear shoves them right back down.

“Daddy loves you, there’s nothing that could keep him from you”

Please God, tell me she’s right

“Mrs. L, you can come with me now”

Chapter 2

If you grew up in the early 2000s like me, 2nd graders lives revolved around smelly erasers, silly bands, and annoying your parents. Life seemed pretty simple, and to me at the time who had only been alive for eight years, I was blind to how hard of a curveball life can throw at you. I was focused on getting a new pack of pink pencils with my name on them or fighting my friends for the last brownie at a playdate. But I learned quickly that all of those things I cherished were nothing in comparison to the black hole I was about to fall head first into.

Chapter 3

“Mommy, I’m scared”

I hate seeing her like this, she’s too young

“Why isn’t Daddy sleeping at home?”

I wish I could just tell her everything

“Mommy, is Daddy going to heaven?”

Chapter 4

Try asking a 2nd grader what congestive heart failure is. Chances are they will look at you the way they look at a multiplication problem. Except me. To me, that was “Daddy’s sickness.” That was the villain making him put on a hospital gown. That was the villain keeping him from celebrating my birthday with me. That was the villain making him get jabbed with needles everyday. That was the villain restraining him from being the Dad he wanted to be. All I could do was crawl into his bed and snuggle with him, wishing upon a star that he would get better and reading Shel Silverstein’s “Peanut Butter Sandwich” poem to him. All that time, I couldn’t help but wonder, if I was going to grow up without my Superhero Dad?

Chapter 5

“Mr. L, we are going to have to try something a little more intensive…”

All I can think about is Steph right now, I can’t leave her

“...we have to send a wire up through your leg and into your heart...”

Alright God, now is the time to work your magic

“...and zap it back to normal”

“Ok Doc... let’s do it”

Chapter 6

The next few days was like walking through fog; there were so many blurry medical terms and the feelings like it was never going to end. I was stuck in the middle of a cloud with no clue of which way to go. I remember my classmates made Dad a huge “Get Well Soon!” card that was covered in messy squiggles and hearts. But the smile that formed on Dad’s face when he saw it was like a ray of sunshine cutting through my cloud; I started to see hope. He only got to appreciate it for a few minutes before his doctor whisked him away to get his heart zapped. I can bet that you have never seen a second grader pray so hard in their life even though they barely knew who or what God is.

Chapter 7

“Ok Mr. L, we are going to give you some drugs that will make you a little drowsy, but you’ll still be awake”

“I’m ready”

3...2...1…

Chapter 8

Mom and I were like statues. Every so often one of us would get up and pace around the waiting room chairs and maybe eat a granola bar and sit back in the same position. Just like when mom first told me about Dad’s heart, fear shoved our words right back down every time we tried to speak. But mom didn’t need to say a word, her puffy eyes and clenched fists were enough of an answer.

Chapter 9

“I need to talk to someone who actually knows what is going on”

It’s been too long, there must be something wrong

“His daughter is out here worried sick, she needs to know if her Dad is alive”

They better give me an answer in five seconds or I’m going to raise hell

Chapter 10

On average, people spend about ⅓ of their life dreaming. Even if it is a bad dream, they know it won’t come true so it doesn’t bother them. I guess that doesn’t apply to everyone. After hours of my mom trying to figure out the status of Dad, they finally told us that the zapping didn’t work and we had a short amount of time to transfer him to Ohio State’s hospital to fix him. Instead of looking like a Superhero, he looked like a Smurf; I could barely recognize his smile in the midst of his blue skin. It was time to throw everything in the car and slam on the gas pedal.

Chapter 11

“Get him admitted into the ICU, stat”

Time for round two

Chapter 12

When I saw my Dad walk up the steps to me after recovering for what seemed like forever, it was like a Superhero was coming to save me. To save me from worry. To save my heart from breaking. To save me from being a Dad-less eight year old. My little legs and feet shot off towards him and jumped into his arms.

Chapter 13

“Daddy, you’re back!”

“Of course Princess, I love you”

“Daddy, did you kick your heart’s butt?”

He laughed and squeezed me even tighter,”Yes, I kicked its butt, and you know who I did it for?”

“For me and Mommy?”

“Yes, always”

He’s finally free

Chapter 14

For twenty years of tears and toil—

They fought that awful peanut-butter sandwich.

Then all his royal subjects came.

They hooked his jaws with grapplin' chains

And pulled both ways with might and main

Against that stubborn peanut-butter sandwich.

Each man and woman, girl and boy

Put down their ploughs and pots and toys

And pulled until kerack! Oh, joy—

They broke right through that peanut-butter sandwich