The cheap smell of cafeteria food from lunch that was still trapped behind the walls of Hemet High flooded my body. It was filling up fast and making my stomach twirl with thoughts of the bitter food entering my mouth. I could feel the heavyweight of my binder and books trying to tug my backpack off my shoulders and onto the scuffed floor. I just entered the commons from the outdoor lunch area. 

I looked up at the brightly painted colors that were dancing on the walls, creating pictures that were imagined by past students. I was admiring these images when I was bumped. Of course, the person would just walk by and not say anything. I watched as they continued to bump others as they made their way through the thick crowd. I braced myself, knowing very well what I was walking into, and it wasn’t going to be easy. It was the end of the day, and I had to pass through the commons. 

As I walked, I could see the teenagers ahead of me segregated into groups like different animal exhibits in a zoo, each their own species. The lions would be displayed in the middle where they could bathe in the spotlight and soak in the glory. The chimpanzees would be swinging around the corners of lockers, racing to the exit, and wrestling with one another. The silent zebras would graze off in the distance, unnoticed. There was no noticeable difference between the teenagers and the animals that they resembled. High school was just a cage full of the uncontrollable wild. 

The separate groups soon became one enormous mob that filled the room as more entered. The walls of the building seemed to be closing in. The sweaty crowd was being cramped in closer and tighter, and I was stuck in the middle. 

It felt as if I was swimming in an endless ocean during a storm, waves crashing with force, and me fighting hard not to let my head fall under. I was a ship that had hit an iceberg and was now sinking. I kicked and pushed, gasping for air. Finally, I saw land. I swam as hard and as fast as possible so I could free myself from the storm. I was almost there. I passed the lunch tables, exited the doors, and passed the attendance office. 

Finally, I did it. I was out. I looked back and saw the doors swing shut behind me, separating me from the zoo where other kids still struggled in the crowd. I breathed in the cool air. I was able to stretch out my arms into the seemingly infinite space that surrounded me. This freeing moment is one that I remember. I remember so well because it happened every day, and it was a moment that filled me with relief. I’d made it another day, and I could finally go home. 

But now I don’t want to be home. Now I am trapped here. The difference is that now I can’t go to homecoming, I can’t go to football games, I can’t play sports, I can’t do spirit days, I can’t join clubs, I can’t go to the store, I can’t eat at a diner, I can’t spend time with other family, and I can’t see my friends. I have to wear a mask every time I leave my property and we must stand six feet apart. I can’t see other people that I love because I can’t risk getting them sick.

I am in quarantine. I am a teenager living during the Covid-19 pandemic. School is not a cage for animals. Animals should be free, and before March 13 of 2020, I was free.