Not Enough

In many cultures, there is discrimination throughout the communities we build. Some people pass judgment on others who share the same culture and society. Society has put a stigma in Latinx communities to behave and act a certain way. Many Latinx people come in different shades, shapes, and sizes. People from the Latinx community can judge how Latinx you are and what ways make you different from the community. The impact of being constantly judged puts a dent in people's identity and confidence. While being a Latinx person, I have come across individuals who examine my looks, culture, and whether or not I am enough to fit inside the community. People have a difficult time knowing where they come from or belong. Identity defines people in many forms to express where each person comes from. Many people struggle with identity due to this world being a melting pot of cultures. There are many stigmas from the identity that puts people into boxes to try to figure out who belongs where. Latinx people especially struggle with identity due to colonization and whitewashing. Many Latinx people judge other Latinx people based on their identity alone and it is difficult to connect with their community. 

“Afro Latinx are often encouraged to lighten their skin, permanently straighten their hair to manage their pelo malo, and to mejorar la Raza” (Fountain).

There are many perceptions of the Latinx community depending on what country you come from with your ancestors. There are over 40 countries that are Latinx yet hold discrimination due to skin color, how you speak Spanish, etc. In the Dominican Republic, there’s a saying, “Pelo malo y Pelo bueno” which means good hair or bad hair; the undesirable hair is the African curly hair, and many Dominican women straighten their hair to resemble someone from Spain. Most Latinx countries hold on to this conceptional idea of the look of being tan with dark hair and dark eyes. Other than that, Dominicans do not even claim their African roots and whitewash their history and genetics. Whitewashing is a common denominator within Latinx communities. It makes the culture more appealing to others without slavery, indigenous, and African roots. Just as any other Latinx woman, I experienced rude encounters with my curly hair. There was a point in my life that I was surrounded by people who have straight hair and that my curls were not desirable. When I was in Chile, everywhere I went it was women and teen girls with straight black hair and I had many people commenting on my curls. Many Chilean women suggested that I should get the keratin straightening treatment because my hair was unmanageable. When others would comment and make suggestions about my hair, it would bring me down and feel like being myself wasn’t good enough for my people to accept me. This stigma has affected my life tremendously due to thinking my hair wasn’t acceptable because my hair is too curly and not pin-straight. I had to straighten my hair every day to look like everyone else and not so much ethnic. By straightening my hair so frequently, I caused heat damage and breakage to my hair. It makes my 14-year-old self manipulate how I look to be accepted by a community that puts extreme pressure on young girls. It was extremely difficult to accept myself and learn how to love myself. Curls are an identity that I have suppressed for many years to feel loved by others, but the only love I needed to accept was my very own. Once accepting my curls and how they looked, I decided to start taking care of them. I would buy curly hair products to bring out my naturally curly hair and to boost my confidence in doing so. Now, many people give me compliments on my curls and it makes my day! Curls are being more accepted today due to the high demand for Black/Hispanic-owned hair products that raise awareness about loving your curls. By spreading the love for curls it makes a difference for young women such as myself to feel welcomed. 

“Argentinian women with blonde hair and olive skin can truly be stunning. You will see more models in Argentina than any other country in Latin America. The beauty of the women of Argentina rivals the beauty of Ukrainian women”(Dantes).

The western culture ideology of Latinx communities has misconceptions and puts a stigma on Latinx people to hold when just being themselves. Americans think Latinx people are ghetto, tan, dark eyes, and have believed Latinx people come from one country. But Latinx people come in different colors and identities. In Argentina, they are mixed with olive and white skin, light blonde hair, and have blue eyes. Argentina is mainly made up of Italian roots with little indigenous identity remaining. Westerners think Latinx people come from either Mexico or Puerto Rico, yet there are many more Latin countries to explore. While being a white-passing Latina, I have experienced people thinking I am not Latinx enough because I have green eyes, light skin, and honey brown hair. When I went to Chile at the age of 14, many of my people told me that I wasn’t enough to be a part of the Latinx community. I had other Latinx people question if I was Latinx enough based on my looks. Even in middle school and high school, it was difficult to make friends. I didn’t belong to the white kids nor the Hispanic kids. I was too Hispanic for the white kids and too white for the Hispanic kids.  

“At least 26% of Latino students were willing to report fear of being bullied. These students said they were afraid to go to school, felt depressed, and some were suicidal” (Hamilton).

Many people would challenge me to see if I was Latinx. They would challenge me by speaking in Spanish, asking me if I knew Latin foods and songs. People would use the Spanish language to examine others if they knew the language and if they are a part of this community. The Spanish language does in fact bring people together yet many Latinx first-generation Americans don’t know the language. 

“According to Pew, 71 percent of self-identified Hispanic adults said that you don't need to speak Spanish to be considered Latinx. At the same time, nearly 90 percent say that it's important for future generations of Latinx Americans to speak Spanish”(Garcia).

 It is a vicious cycle of the community examining each other based on color and genetics. It affects a person on a deep level deciding if you truly belong to this society of other Latinx people. It breaks a person to a certain level and not even feeling worthy to be yourself. The harsh judgment makes the Latinx people who are different such as me, feel not as inviting or comfortable in our identity. 

To have a place in the human race, you need an identity. Identity defines many of us and guides us to what groups and people we would reside in. It’s difficult to insert ourselves into different societies when many people get judged for who they are and what they are. The Latinx community has different inner circles where people fall into, but you can not check every box in this community or be accepted. Being denied and pushed away due to not looking stereotypical is harsh for the people who look white and are Latinx or black and Latinx. The Latinx community pushes limits to test whether or not you are enough. They would examine how much Spanish you know and if you have dark features and No one made them the judge to do so. Today we have to put an end to discrimination and stereotypes. The world is a melting pot of many Latinx people from South America, Central America, the Caribbean, and even the Middle East. No matter how one looks from the curls on their head to the whiteness to darkness in their skin, they are still enough. It should not concern others on how one looks nor the genetics they have no control over. Every Latinx person is more than adequate and should be accepted no matter what stigma defines us.