The smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies filled the kitchen. My friends, I’ll call them G and A, were watching my mom make our movie snacks: popcorn and cookies. We were watching Finding Nemo under a blanket fort. We had two choices, Finding Nemo or The Great Mouse Detective. I wanted the latter but I was voted out 2:1. The hour before the movie was spent mixing cookie dough, building the fort, and popping the popcorn. There was one snore, then another, and another; G fell asleep after 30 mins of the movie. A and I, as the 10-year-olds we were, suggested we pull a prank on G. We decided to put shaving foam on G’s nose. That shaving foam got everywhere. When G woke up and rubbed her eyes, she was less than happy but we all laughed together even still.

There were many times like this though I would usually hang out with G more. One dumb prank turned into a prank war, baking together, and building blanket forts for hours on end. We went to the public pool once and G and I coaxed A into diving into the deep end, which ended with A not wanting to do anything other than the diving board. When my mom told us it was time to leave all three of us jumped right back into the pool. My mother ended up dragging each of us out and wrapping us with a towel. That summer was the summer just before 7th grade.

Halfway through 7th grade, A came out as nonbinary, meaning they didn’t fit into a gender or felt genderless. They told me “ hey, I'm gonna go by Indigo now.” Of course, I had no idea what that meant so I just said “ok” and walked away. I had no idea what nonbinary or trans meant so I was mostly nonchalant. When G found out about Indigo there was a strange shift, G acted like she was betrayed. Because of this G forced me to pick a side. It was her or Indigo. I was confused and didn't want to lose my best friend whom I admired so much, so I chose G. 

A week later I was talking with Indigo when G pulled me to the side. “Why are you talking to HER,” wait what? I thought G was the most caring, kind, and inclusive person. Why was G being so mean? As I was pulled away I saw Indigo's eyes fill with tears. Indigo and G used to be so close, what happened? 

G told me about how Indigo was making fun of G and calling her names. This, however, was a lie. I didn't know that at the time. As any friend would; I got angry. I decided to follow along blindly with all of G’s plans to out Indigo. This was a bad idea, I didn't realize how hurtful I was being. One of these plans was to accentuate “she” and “her” whenever we referred to Indigo. I still had no idea what nonbinary meant and I thought we were just overemphasizing.

After a month, Indigo stopped talking to me, and only me. In fact, G and Indigo got closer than ever which made me mad and betrayed. G started blaming me for everything we did and said, even though I never actually said or did anything, I was just there. When I apologized to Indigo and told them the truth, they got mad at G, which caused a fight between me and G. The fight lasted for almost two weeks and I was sick of it. I ended up apologizing to G, though I still don't know why I did.

Since I was little, I was so afraid of losing the people I loved and the memories we created. That caused me to forget what was more important, kindness. The confusion of following the one I liked more and just going along even though I didn’t think of the outcome made me realize that I can’t just follow blindly because it can hurt others, even if that wasn't the intention. And since then G, Indigo, and I have made up. We are definitely not as close as before though.