It's late at night. I was so tired from my first week of second grade. I began to climb into my twin size Minnie Mouse bed. I suddenly started to think about how much fun I was going to have at my dad's house this weekend. I yelled my mom’s name to get confirmation that Ii was still going. 

¨MOMMY!¨ I yelled.

¨What, Gabrielle? You're not getting nothing else to drink! It's getting too late,.¨ she said, sounding annoyed.

¨No, Mom. I  wanted to know if I was going to my dad’s house this weekend.¨

¨Yes.¨ she said with a deep breath as if i'm getting on her nerves. ¨I'm going to take you over there bright and early, so get some sleep. Goodnight.¨ 

It is now the next morning, and I start going through my wardrobe, trying to figure out what I'm going to wear. I then found this cute outfit to put on. I got dressed, then I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I finished brushing my teeth, I began to hear a faint cry. I turned the sink off and listened closely to make sure I was hearing correctly. I squinted my eyes in confusion as I followed the crying sound. I came upon my mom, sitting on the edge of her bed, crying very passionately. I then keeled to her knees in front of her as her cry just got worse. I asked her over and over, ``What's the matter?¨ She continued to cry with no reply. I then sat next to her and began to rub her back and hug so that she could feel some type of comfort.

My sisters began to file in, staring at me and my mom, looking confused. They then ask what's going on and neither one of us responds. My older sister repeatedly asks my mom what's going on. My mom sniffles as she tries to clear her tears to explain what's the matter. The room gets very quiet; you could hear a pin drop.

¨I have something to tell y'all,¨ she said as her eyes began to get glossy. The three of us stare at each other with nervousness as we wait to hear what she has to say.

'Mom, what happened?'' said my middle sister. She looks at us and takes a deep breath.
¨Your dad 

¨WHAT?!? I WAS JUST TALKING TO HIM?!?¨I said in disbelief. 

``What happened?¨”said my older sister, sobbing. 

My middle sister said nothing as she just stared in disbelief.

My mom continued,¨He had a major heart attack; he tried to fight but just couldn't make it. He died upon arrival,¨ said my mom, sounding like a doctor. 

I immediately ran to my phone and began to call my dad constantly and send multiple texts.  I eventually realized this was reality and I just had to accept it. I cried so hard shaking my head in confusion and frustration. I then wiped my tears and went back to join my family to comfort them and to see what happens next.

Looking back now that I'm 17 I never really realized how much this particular situation affected me. I never really was able to acknowledge my feelings about my dad. I just always seemed to close in my feelings and the material things would make it better, in reality I was actually hurting my heart shattered when I finally accepted my dad's passing and I was never able to show it. I was always shielded when it comes to my feelings. I feel as though my dad's passing is part of the reason I am the way I now today i think my feelings and my meanness comes from 15 years of hurt that I just never got over.  My dad and I were very close, he was my best friend so losing him at such a young age really scared me. We had a lot of fun times with my dad and I. I just wish we could go to the park one last time or he could give me one of those big bear hugs he used to. But you know what life and things happen for a reason and I know everything that's happening or has happened he sees and is watching over me. My dad sees me and he supports me and I love him for that. Until we meet again.