Dear Diary,

Hey. Sorry, I haven’t written here for a little while, I’ve been busy with school. I wish I could drop out but my parents obviously say I can’t because I’m doing so well. I know I’m getting all A’s and two B’s but school is too stressful for me, especially the social aspect. I had my junior conference with my parents and my school counselor last Wednesday. All we talked about was my grades and what career I want to strive for. I hate having to think about my future. I just don’t know what I want to do. I know I’m good at a lot of things, but there are too many other people who are better than me at them. I like writing, but ¼ of my class is a better writer than me. I like art, but there are a few people in my class who are better painters than me.

I have always convinced myself I would be a Kindergarten teacher or a High School English teacher, but I’ve never had the energy to teach that many 6-year-old kids at once. Not to mention primary and secondary school teachers don’t get the pay they deserve for all the hard work they do.

My brother, Jake, facetimed me from college on Sunday. We ended up talking for an hour while we played video games. I told him how I don’t know what to do with my life and he started suggesting careers he thought I would be good at. He said I would be a good Kindergarten teacher, High School teacher, and Human Resources manager. I thought all of those careers sounded alright but when I looked to the future it was a blur of questions. Will I enjoy what I do? Will I be excited to go to work in the morning? I know I would be okay doing those jobs, but would I really want to do them for the rest of my life?

Then Jake told me I would be a good Art Professor. I could then see my future crystal clear. No questions surrounded my head. I like art a lot. I’m actually pretty good at it. I’m interested in teaching. It honestly sounds like something I would genuinely enjoy doing. So I decided to do some research. Ideally, I would get a doctorate degree in art which is a lot of schooling and money. But the pay is good, so it would be worth it. Plus I wouldn’t mind going to school that long if it meant I could take a bunch of art classes. At least it’s something I’m interested in.

I usually absolutely dread the future but right now I feel content. I even feel a little excited. It feels like I have something to look forward to. It feels like high school actually has a purpose instead of it being a chore that I have to get through every single day. These past few days I’ve been doing a lot of research about art too. I’m starting to learn different techniques and what differentiates a beginner from a professional artist. There are so many things to practice and I’m eager to start. There is finally light at the end of the tunnel. Something to look forward to. Some kind of purpose for my otherwise dreary life. I think I’m done writing for today. My hand is getting pretty tired. See you around.