I felt like I couldn't breath, My skin was crawling with the invisible bugs under my thin shirt.Driving nine hours to Nevada with strangers in a car that made me feel like prisoner.Not because of the barred windows,Because I was barred in my own mind. I thought going to Nevada would cure me of my problems, that it would fix me. On the website it stated “Willow Springs a great place for helping teens get through life by learning skills to help you in life.” I was so excited I thought this was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me.But I didn't know how wrong I was till I got there.

     I waited in the front of the small building for what felt like years.A older lady with white pixi cut hair walked out and said my name with a smile. I followed her back to her office that was the size of a laundry room. I hesitantly sat down and crossed my legs. Than the questions began. She asked me if I had piercings,how old I was,if I was a girl or boy, which I didn't get cause she had my file.Then she told me the bad news.

    “you are not allowed to wear your clothes until we go through them and take any unsafe clothing items out.”     

    I was in shock.What did she mean search my stuff, I wasn't a criminal! Before I was able to get upset she asked me to follow her,so I followed her through the halls that were as pale as I was to a grey exam room where a nurse took my weight,height, etc.I changed into scrubs and blue grippy socks with paws on the bottom.Then through the pale halls again. we stopped at gym like room that had “Base Camp” in bold red bubble letters.She told me this is where I was staying.I soon realized that I was crying, alot. She told me I would be okay and that the girls were nice and opened the doors.As I walked in a staff member greeted me and brought me breakfast. Cinnamon rolls, my favorite thing for breakfast

 The room was freezing.I was balling and eating a cinnamon roll when I asked the staff to go to my room.My heart dropped and so did the tears that were stinging my eyes when she said 

    “you are not allowed to till night time, thats the only time u ever go in your room. Plus you also have to share with two other people.”

       Thats when I completely lost my grip on believing this would even be a little bit okay. I was curled up in fetal position on a blue carpet with god knows what stuck to it crying for about an hour before I made my way moving one stiff limb at a time to the activity room where I met my roommates, Oliver and Dj they seemed so nice at first.Then again I have always had a problem with trusting people to easily.We made small talk, listened to music and drew on the whiteboard.          Soon it was nighttime when I sat on my hard plastic bed and told my roommates about my phobia of throwing up. They looked at each other and decided to have a competition to make themselves throw up.I ran out of the room slamming my hands to my eyes trying to keep the waterfall of tears I knew were about to leave my face.my body was limp as I sprinted into the cold room where my body finally gave out as if my heart stopped beating.I took the last of the little strength I had left in myself and curled into a tight ball clutching my knees in my arms. I sobbed until my face was soaked and so was the plastic mat I was on. I felt like a puddle of ice-cold rain that a kid had jumped in so many times that all that was left was wet rocks. Plugging my ears as if a bomb was going off, Sobbing so loud I was partially screaming that I wanted to go home, but I couldn't hear it.By the time they stopped sticking their fingers down their throat, the staff told me to go back in my room.I cried and told them I couldn't do it.Please let me sleep somewhere else anywhere else. The night I thought would be amazing ended with me sleeping on the floor in a ball with a puddle of tears next to me, whispering that I just wanted to go home.