Our hair flying into the wind and the screeching noise that the trampoline makes when jumping so high it feels like you're flying, the loud pitched screams that kids make when playing tag. The smell of fresh-cut grass and summer sweat. Oh how enjoyable it was being a child. When the only thing you needed to worry about was what mom was making for dinner or if the street lights came on. The way the world was so easy. The memories are vivid. The imagination was colorful and wondrous. I always dreamed of growing older, and anticipating the day I can do all the things that my older sisters and their friends did. I regret it. 

Growing up is realizing how scary the world was. Growing up is realizing that not everything goes your way. Growing up makes you realize that there are more things to worry about than street lights. There are hardships, betrayal, and plenty of loneliness. The world doesn't look as colorful like how it used too be. People say that life is like a game of chess, you always need to know your next move. My mom always told me to never wish to be older and to enjoy my childhood while I have it. I've never really understood that meaning until now. I mean why would I wanna grow up? 

I remember waking up for the first day of school, my clothes neatly folded, walking over to my mom, and eating my breakfast while she did my hair. I always remembered her light delicate hands braiding my hair and even though they were delicate it would always hurt. After school, my little brother Hunter and I,  would go outside and play with our friends till night. Once the street lights turned on it signaled us that it was time to come in eat dinner, and get ready for bed. Another memory I think about to this day was my love for going on field trips, especially the zoo trips,  the feeling of excitement that either my mom or dad was gonna be there to chaperone me and my buddies.The simple pleasure of sitting on a stone animal at the zoo, and the safe feeling of knowing that if something goes wrong or someone gets hurt they will be there. I've always had a lot of friends in elementary, I was kind to all and never judged anyone. I remember when it was recess time and my best friend Ava and I would go and play house with all our other little friends.  Ava was my ride-or-die. Ava and I met in elementary, she pushed me down onto the floor because she was mad because she had just gotten in trouble. Since then for some reason, She became my best friend.  

 Then it was time for high school. I was so scared, I didn't know whether I was gonna be bullied or if it was gonna be hard to make friends. When I was in 9th grade I had struggles making friends, and when I had friends I had struggles keeping them. I didn't really know who I was.  Then when I was in 10th grade I still didn't know.  I would do stupid things, hoping that I could fit in. I went through a lot of stuff that year, there were rumors, heartbreaks, and loss of friends. At the beginning of the year I was Sexually Assaulted by a student, I tricked myself into believing I was disgusting. I figured it would help if I tried to speak out about it. But all I got out of it was being made fun of and never got the justice that I thought I deserved. But during those times I figured out who my real friends were. They stayed and helped me through everything. They were the type of people who stayed with me no matter how little or big the thing was. Later in the year, I realized I couldn't let the little stuff affect me and let the bad days think I had a bad life. I slowly gained confidence, even through thick and thin, and although I still don't know who I am, I have good people in my life to support me through it.

I'm a junior now. Although it's still too early to predict how my year will be, I've learned and grown how to handle situations.  I know life is not always bad, but it's also not always good. I've experienced things that seemed to only happen in the books I would read and the movies I would watch. Im 16 now turning 17 on November 10th, 2023. And I'll be 18 next year. Although I'm no longer a child,  I'll always carry with me the memories of the street lights.