june 30th of 06 was the sadest day of my life.it was the day he died. my grandpa,not only was the only one who truly loved me but he was my best friend. he said he would always be there for me and that made me feel safe. i didnt feel alone. i never saw it coming.the day papa got diagnosed with stage four lung cancer was the day i asked god to answer my prayers. he seemed to be getting better but i was wrong. meme kept talking about what he wanted us to do when he was gone and i never understood what she ment.i was at a friends house when the door bell rang and i opened the door to a life of confusion.my uncle told me that he was gone.i stood in shock not believing what i just heard. my uncle drove me home and walked in to find my papa's lifeless body lieing there. i didnt know what to do.i felt like i had just been hin in the head. i couldent think,i couldent speak,i couldent move,i couldent believe it.i finally gained enough strength to run to my tire swing and it was there that i collasped.for the next few days i sat there day and night.people came and talked to me and i said not one word.my grandma tried to make me come in but i satyed,she brought me a blaket and food but i did not eat.i did use the blanket hoping that i could cover up and pretend that nothing happened.the day came for his funeral and i got up and got dressed still not saying a word.when we got they said a few words it was a blur except for the end i remember.i stood there me and my family on one side friends on the other. the doves were released and they soared into the sky i watched them for a long time until they disapeared and then i looked into the clouds that covered the sun and at that moment i knew that i was now alone,left to defend myself against the carnivors of the world and thats when i built my wall so that no one could get inside and find out who i truly am because if they ever did they would take advantage,and i would die.to this day i still wish i could give my grandpa a hug and kiss and tell him goodbye...one last time