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Is There A Ghost In My House?
“This story that I’m going to tell you is a true story. You might not believe me. But I’m sure you will. If you don’t, then ask my relatives about it. Enjoy reading my memoir. I’m sure it’ll scare you to death. Thank You.”It all happened at 4:00 am. I believe it was on a Tuesday. I woke up to go to the bathroom. Since I shared bedrooms with my older brother and my older sister, I felt confident to sleep with them. The room was really dark. I had to turn on the light in the room. I was scared in the dark at that time. So I closed my eyes and walked slowly to turn the light on. I fell down. I tripped on my older sisters’ bookpack. My sister didn’t wake up. I was sweating of fear. I even heard my sweat dripping on the ground. It was that quiet in my room. I turned on the light quickly. I left the door opened so I can see the bathroom door. When I was halfway through the living room to go to the bathroom, the light turned off. I thought my older sister turned of the light. I decided to walk slowly. I was scared. It was really scary. I felt my legs trembling in fear. I really had to tinkle. I turned around because I heard the door close. Then, I looked back again, I saw a shadow. I squinted to see it. I saw someone it was actually a man disconnecting the cables. I was scared. It was really weird, I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I was scared. I walked a little faster. I looked back again. There was no one there. I was almost at the bathroom door. Then I felt a push behind my back. I ran quickly to the bathroom. I felt relieved when I used the bathroom. Then I was scared to go back to my room. So I decided to stay in the bathroom until I heard my moms’ footsteps. I was in the bathroom at least for an hour. I didn’t know what to do. I remember it was around 4:15 am when I went to the bathroom. 20 minutes past already. I was really tired of waiting in the bathroom. I really wanted to go to my bed and go to sleep. I decided to go .Although I was sweating of fear, I still went for it. But this time, I covered my head with a towel. I know, I was little back then. I walked slowly. The towel kept falling down out of my face. That is what got me more scared. I didn’t know why my towel kept falling. It felt like someone was pulling it with force. I was scared. M7y body felt weird. I felt really tired and stressed. I started closing my eyes. I started seeing black in my eyes. I didn’t know if I was fainting or if I was just blind. I began to see things blurry. Then I knew that I fainted because I was on the ground. As I was getting up to walk to my room, felt someone pushing me to the ground. It was still really dark. As I tried to feel who the person was and trying to get up at the same time, I heard someone whisper something in my ear. It was weird because he said my name. I began getting Goosebumps all over my body. Then I knew that there were ghosts in our house. I closed my eyes and prayed to god to keep the ghost away form me. Then I said The Our Father to myself. Then I was able to get up. I ran to my room. I ran quickly and jumped on my bed and covered myself quickly. I still had a couple of minutes to sleep. I felt relieved. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But I still fell asleep. As I was drifting to sleep, my mom came to my room and woke me up. I didnt want to wake up.She said if I dont wake up she'll pr cold water on me. I nearly jumped out of my bed. I was changing with a sleepy expression on my face. When I ate breakfast, I told my mom about it. She didn’t believe me. She said “Thalia, you might have been dreaming, now star eating before you go to school late.” When I was done with my breakfast, I went to tell my dad. He didn’t believe me either. So I decided to tell my older sister. She believed me. She said that the same thing happened to her. But she didn’t do exactly what I did. She said that she was in her room sleeping. Suddenly , she felt someone choking her on her bed. She said that she was kicking and screaming. Then the ghost let go. She also said that she prayed for the ghost to disappear. So it was real. I told her to tell my mom. Then my mom finally believed us. She didn’t know what to say. It was time to go to school. I left to go to school with my sister. I didn’t mention it to anyone in my class. This is a memory I will never forget.
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This article has 4 comments.
Interesting story, but I have some criticism.
1. Please, please paragraph more often! It would be so much easier on the eyes.
2. You don't need quotation marks at the beginning of your story, especially since you aren't talking and you don't close it with quotation marks at the end.
3. You have too many short sentences in a row. Please try and vary your sentence length a bit. It's just easier on the reader.
4. Your grammar is okay, but you might want to work on your comma usage and a few other things like where dialogue goes.
Other than that, I think this is a good piece of writing. No wonder you were scared!