Her previously worn clothes effortlessly dispersed over the frigid wood flooring. Gold sheets balled up in the corner of the bed. Crumpled tissues surrounding a tear-soaked pillow flattened from the weight of her head.

The cold.
The silence.
The hurt.

“Who are you going to tell? No one will believe you.” His words feel like sharp knives against her pale, white skin.The back of her throat burns like smoldering ashes from efforts of holding back the tears.

“You have no friends.” Each minute goes by like ten. Ominous thoughts creeping to the surface.

“No one will ever love you.” All she can do is lay there feeling the lowest she ever has. She’s sliding closer and closer to the edge of a dangerous cliff. Getting steeper every inch, making it that much harder to climb back up. She may never climb back up.

“Stop talking. No one wants to hear you.” His words hurt her more than he thinks. Her unexplainable, forced emotional attachment had taken over her whole world. Each time he spoke, the ties connecting her feelings with his lies broke. Each one bringing her closer to reality which he had worked so hard everyday to get her away from. Reality is a scary place after being gone so long. It is too much for her to handle.

The truth.
The realization.
The hurt.

It is all too much for her to handle.

“No one likes you.” Through bloodshot eyes, she sees that yellow bottle filled with white capsules of retreat that has been staring at her from the wooden dresser.

One big decision for someone with a lot to still learn. This decision will affect her whole life.

“Who will care?” Those thoughts linger in her tainted mind. Day after day, she just wants to feel better but she is forced to get out of bed every morning. Seven hours of kids’ jokes, snickers, and rumors. They only add to the hurt.

The thoughts.
The struggle.

Her insecurities that now tower much higher than herself consume her life. She needs to find a better way to live.

To think.
To feel.

It comes with time. Doesn’t everything?

True love.
Happiness.
Heartbreak.

The bad always mixes with the good. Lingering somewhere in the mixture of her life, there is the threatening bad memories creeping their way into to good. All she needs to figure out is how to suppress the bad and keep them from mixing. She also needs to make those good memories. Good things come with time. Climbing back up from the cliff will take time.

New friends.
New feelings.
New thoughts.

The ominous thoughts slowly fade. The bad days thinning to rarity. A new life very slowly reforming around the broken one. She finds parts of herself little by little. She can't be put back together the same way, she'll always be different. She’ll learn from these not-so-much-of-her-fault mistakes.

Confessing her struggles is what helps her back up. Her new friends, now aware of her troubles, help her realize she didn’t do anything wrong. The wrong was to blame on him.

His corruptness.
His conceitedness.
His wrongfulness.

That’s exactly what she needed to realize. He is wrong. His unjustifiable actions can never be right. Immortal memories forever in the crevices of her mind. The days get better as the months go on. With new memories being created, the old get pushed further back. She finds not living in this dark place is so much better. Why would anyone live there, in the dark? He’s just a monster hiding in the dark.

Hiding from reality.
From morals.
From society.

She’s back from the dark and she won’t, she can’t, go back.



I won't go back.