Procrastination: The act putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention. This, unfortunately, is the sickness that I have been diagnosed with. It is a foe that seems objectively conquerable, but when I fall into the trap, escape is tenuous. When the projects I am struggling to finish are finally down to the wire, my procrastination up until that point leaves me between a rock and a hard place. It’s stressful! Procrastination seems harmless at the time, but that is how it traps me and sucks me into its seemingly never-ending abyss. Payment comes in the form of tears, anger, even delirious laughter, and a whole host of all-nighters. Yes, I have fallen under the control of this monster numerous times, and have tried many different methods of escape. I am here to recite a cautionary tale. I do not always succeed, but I have won many of my battles despite the allure of my evil foe, procrastination. However, I have paid a handsome price in sleep, calmness, and sanity. Why, you might ask, am I writing about such a touchy subject? Maybe it is because I procrastinated so long on choosing a topic that this one was forced on me by default. Besides, some even dare to say that I am an expert on the matter. They are not wrong.

Procrastination begins with a false security. You believe that you have enough time to finish whatever needs concluding, but before you know it, you have wasted your precious time away sorting your nail polish collection by color and shade that you end up with a crisis on your hands. This has happened to me more times than I can count. Perhaps my worst experience was during finals for my biology class. A fifteen page research paper was due in one week. My professor warned the class to start working on it at the beginning of the semester. Was I near completion like my fellow classmates? No, but I did find out how to make a fried chocolate covered cookie dough cheesecake on Pinterest! My elation over my gourmet discovery was soon dashed by the realization that I might be doomed. False security led to excuses, excuses led to denial, and denial led to catastrophe. What would I do? I had a week to make and give out a survey to 150 people on a subject that I had not even chosen yet—and then I had the paper to write and the powerpoint presentation to prepare. Luckily for me I had Facebook, which only took a day to get the required amount of respondents. I was saved—sort of. Next, I had to write the report and work on the 15 minute presentation. By now, you can probably guess that I did not start right away. I deserved a break from sending out all those surveys! I wasted another day believing that I owed myself some time off, but I was starting to feel the pressure. Luckily, I got down to business (it only took until the end of the semester to get there) and I pulled out an A+ in the class. This should have been a lesson to me to start projects earlier, despite ultimately making it out alive. Unfortunately, I can tell you first-hand that it was not. I should also warn you that fried cheesecake looks WAY better than it tastes.

One of the most traumatic encounters I had with procrastination, which followed my near death by biology final, was when I tricked myself into believing that I had plenty of time to raise money for a mission’s trip to Mexico. Did I actually have loads of time? Of course—at the beginning. But, really, that only helped me forget (or deny) the deadline more easily. It was about two weeks until the payment was due when I realized that I had unfortunately found myself procrastinating yet again. I had to frantically brainstorm ideas to raise money. The stress and anxiety this caused me made me feel old, and now I know for a fact that gray hair does not look attractive on a seventeen-year-old girl. I thought of everything—even putting my bed and nightstand on eBay—to raise the money in a ridiculously short amount of time. I was down to the wire, but luckily, I made it. I had numerous last minute bake sales, I put on a garage sale, I helped landscape my church, and I received several very generous donations. Thanks to my mom for ideas, my church for hosting the bake sales, and the power of coffee, I defeated the dreadfulness that is procrastination. But I have never felt so much nausea, gotten so little sleep, and felt so physically old and decrepit due to the stress in my entire life. Folks, the temporary joy I received from putting off what needed to be done for watching three seasons of Bridezillas back-to-back was hardly worth it. Sassiness on your wedding day seems so overrated, anyway.

You may call me lucky, but I have also had too many unlucky accounts to state. My advice to you: if you ever do, by chance, fall under this wicked creature, just remember: stay calm. Drink coffee. And always tell yourself that the best way to conquer procrastination is to get the task done early. You will enjoy your life when your duty is finished, guilt will be a foreign concept to you, and you will not grow premature gray hair. Take my word for it.