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White Picket Fence
At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how were made. So you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines…. that are too dangerous to cross.
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Meredith Grey
Over time I thought keeping people out would help but it doesn’t. I don’t know why all these years I’ve kept people out when all they’re trying to do is help. I’ve missed my chances at trying to be happy. Skipped, missed opportunities. That I could of taken but didn’t because I was afraid of getting hurt. That’s why I built that fence that is why I kept people out, because letting them in means opening up; letting them see the flaws that make you less perfect in their eyes.
Opening up is a scary thing, I get it. It’s hard, it’s scary its being, becoming vulnerable for a moment or two. Letting them see that slight moment of insecurity you yourself can’t ever stand to see so you hide it. And you put up that damn fence.
Protection from the world from those we can truly fall for. Letting them see our weak spot that small section that is a part of us that once it is out there is no going back. Because then comes the feeling of being lost. Vulnerability that feeling that shakes our inner self being.
Never truly returning to that safe haven that fence that boundary of keeping people out.
I’ve let so people many people in that when they left disappeared I felt myself be shaken to the core losing it all. I let myself be walked all over. Those I cared for friends loved ones I was stomped all over crumbled my own self taken. I built that fence Meredith talks about because sometimes that boundary that fancy white picket fence I imagine has kept you safe. But you think all that fence really did is keep all those out when it really kept you in.
We are all human beings, Imperfect ones. That no matter what we do it ends up in a puddle of tears. That cannot be wiped clean because life is a messy waterfall we end up drowning in.
I think that if we risk it for a little stop building walls and fences we might get the chance to meet some great people. Even ones that become close friends or even more, we can’t take those things for granted because that means we’ve given up on ourselves and we cant.
Only we ourselves are capable of challenging ourselves we can break that even if it means crumbling into pieces. If we take that chance we risk crossing that line there is no looking back, because maybe it seems scary were afraid of becoming broken that’s okay, but we can’t regret that nor the chances we didn’t take. Only if we know it has gone too far. We need to learn from our mistakes isn’t that what life is about. Taking chances taking in everything. When we know nothing maybe there is a chance to be guarded and keep ourselves secluded or hiding behind that beautiful picket fence but when were ready to step out and smell the red roses that are growing around us. We must do it for ourselves, even if that takes us down choices to choosing the right path or a slight dangerous one….
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