I’m sure everyone has heard that falling in love for the first time is amazing and that when you’re in love, the feeling is just inexplicable, but what they don’t stress enough, is that it is also the most painful. I met my first love freshman year of high school, throughout the year I didn't really realize that I loved him, I only realized it when I found myself attempting to get over him, but with failure, couldn’t. He is imperfect but perfect to me, he has dark, perfectly gelled hair or left flawlessly natural, has the warmest brown eyes, like the kind you get lost in every time you look in them, wears black outlined glasses, and has white crooked teeth I absolutely adore, he kind of has this bad boy vibe to him. Not only is he perfect to me physically, but he is just as incredible on the inside. Despite that he comes off as isolated and mysterious, if you got the chance to talk to him, you’d savor every moment. He’s the kind of guy who you’d over analyze about, studying every little detail about him, like the way he talks and walks with his hands in his pockets. He’s the type of guy who makes you feel as if your heart is about to burst out of your chest when he even as much as glances at you.
You never truly get over your first love, you will never forget that person, what everyone says is so accurate it’s not even funny. Now for me, I never did get a chance to be with him, he just didn't feel the same way and that’s okay. Eventually sophomore year came around and when I saw him the first day of school, I still knew I wasn't over him. Even after him telling me the most heartbreaking, agonizing, miserable words of, “Just move on”, still wasn't enough for me to “just move on”. Every time I see him at school, my heart literally starts to hurt and fills with sadness. To be honest, I will never understand why I fell so head over heels for him, he’s just a normal guy, nothing special about him, but that’s just it, he’s special to me. When I went into high school, I told myself that I wasn't going to get caught up with any guy and wanted to just focus on my grades, well, things change in a heartbeat. He was the cause of my happiness but also the cause of my heartache. No matter what, I do wish the best for him and hopes he finds the girl he’s looking for, I’m just sorry I can’t be that for him.