Week 1:
Maybe now I’ll see some real action instead of just fetching jello in Same Day Surgery. It’s alright over here; I’m mostly here to guide people to other sections of the hospital and push wheelchairs. I’m only here for two hours, so I’m making the most of it. No one had a heart attack while I was here today, the worst I saw was a kid and his broken wrist.

Week 2:
Kelly, the receptionist who sits next to me, was talking with some of the people in the waiting room about a guy who escaped from the mental ward here. I didn’t know ‘mental wards’ still existed, what is this, “American Horror Story?” The guy that escaped went to a nearby house and stole a car. He drove for a while before they caught him. I guess I was more preoccupied thinking bloody wounds than mental illnesses.

Week 3:
I walked an old Eastern European lady to the hospital room where her brother was.She had fun curly red hair and she smiled a lot even though she was worried about her brother. Along the way we talked a little. She asked about Candy Stripers; she thought that we had died out. “I was born in 1934, tradition was different, girls were different.” I said, “1934, that means you’re…”
“I am eighty four.” I was surprised, this lady was walking as fast as I was. “Whoa! You don’t look eighty four at all!” She laughed and said, “If you had to guess age, what would guess?” I took a little time to come up with a number that would flatter her, but would be mildly realistic. “50 at the most,” I said. She laughed some more.“Ha! thirty years ago!”

Week 4:
It’s getting around Christmas time, and with holiday cheers come holiday tears. A little boy was wheeled in on a wheelchair, a massive spike sticking out of his foot. His four brothers followed, along with a mom who was on edge, flaring out at the dad. “Harold HOLD MY PURSE!” The four brothers ran into the waiting room, the mom yelled out, “JERRY! TOM! NO get BACK HERE!” All four brothers circled back to their parents (even though she only called two). The kid in the wheelchair was just chilling, he looked fine aside from the hulking spear sticking out of his leg. The mother explained that there was a Spongebob christmas lawn ornament that had a spike in it so that it would stick in the ground. One of the brothers pushed the kid down the stairs and it went into his foot. I was thankful for my brother, who even at his worst wouldn’t push me down a flight of stairs into an awaiting Spongebob spear of doom.

Week 5:
There’s a sick baby who’s getting checked out by the nurse. He’s also screaming like someone’s ripping him apart. Do I feel bad for the baby? Yes. Did that help me ignore the crying? No. I just feel bad for the people walking in and hearing the demons of hell concentrated in the voice of one child.