The year I turned seventeen two things happened that took me by complete surprise: I lost feelings for my boyfriend and I cheated on him. I cheated on him first. I was in the band so I had to play at graduation, sitting in the tuba section; I clapped when his brother walked across the stage, same with my boyfriend. I was proud of him, because he had finally completed his high school journey. The boy sitting beside me just rolled his eyes and had nothing to say to me. Let’s just call him M and my boyfriend E. After graduation my boyfriend invited me to go to dinner with him last minute. My mom wasn’t too pleased since she didn’t find out till that night, not to mention my parents really didn’t like E that much.

The next day I was going to three parties, two were graduation, the other was a burn all your school stuff party. I went to the first graduation party at my friend’s house and had a really good time; he had invited a couple of teachers that were mine too. Next I went to my boyfriends’ graduation party and I only stayed for two hours, I had to go home and get changed for my next party. I got to the final party of the night and I was dressed a little more relaxed. I was wearing a button down, short shorts, flip-flops, and my backpack. Then, I saw M and I steered clear because he had been a jerk to me the day before. We had an off and on relationship, we were like brother and sister.

I was hanging out with friends and having a great time when M approached me and said that he wanted to talk to me. I had no idea why he wanted to talk to me.

“Everyone is being a jerk to me tonight; I just don’t fit in or belong.” M stated.

“Don’t listen to them, they are just jerks, plus it’s just the start of the summer, you don’t need to worry.” I coaxed.
M and I went to go talk as we walked around our friend’s property and we finally found our good moments and no bad ones. At one point I asked if we could pray, he agreed because I knew that M was a devout Christian. We prayed and after words I was in tears because I blamed myself for something in the prayer. M told me it was all going to be okay. Then I looked at him and said these simple words,

“Kiss me” I spoke gently.
“What?!” M said flabbergasted.
“I want you, to kiss me.” I said sweetly

M looked at me and asked if I had feelings for him again, I nodded and said yes. Then, it happened, we locked lips and I pulled him closer to me. I didn’t want the perfect moment to end as it felt like we were the only two in the world. After the kiss, we went to go lay down on the grass in each others arms with his heartbeat in my ear and my head on his strong chest. When people would walk by or ride in the golf cart close to us, we would sit up quickly and talk about tuba stuff and nobody ever caught us.

For the remainder of summer, I would spend time with my boyfriend every now and then; he had to juggle many things, from college to work. M never called me or returned my texts even when I would ask to hang out. It made me realize that maybe that night in June was just a hit and miss with M. Finally, band camp rolled around and M and I didn’t talk to each other until, one day when he got chest pains. I tried to help him the best I could but he just pushed me away until we got to the band room. The athletic trainer took over from when we brought him in and I saw before me the boy that I had kissed that wonderful night in June. At one point during band camp, I went down with breathing trouble, my lungs were being stubborn and I didn’t like what was going on. To all my surprise, M was the one who was helping me, no one else.

My boyfriend got word of me having breathing trouble, but only his brother showed up to show his support and help, E on the other hand was still asleep. After one the episode of barely being able to catch my breath, M and I started talking again and I was very happy. As the school year took its course, M decided to take me to his church’s revival services and we got so close again. I started to loose feelings for my boyfriend, but I never told him it was with M. But then, M fell in love with a girl who was a good friend of mine. I was very happy that he got a girlfriend, but sad that I didn’t have a date for homecoming until 3 weeks prior to the dance. My parents didn’t want me to go with E and he was very upset with my parents. But the week before homecoming, the most unthinkable happened to me.

I had to go to the hospital because my lungs sucked at being lungs for a night. I only asked for M to help me and that’s all I needed that night.

The next week was homecoming.  I saw M at the dance with his girlfriend and they were having so much fun. But then sadly, M’s girlfriend dumped him and he blamed me because I told her about a lot of stuff about M, even that fateful night in June. Not to mention M’s mom really didn’t like M’s girlfriend because she thought that I would treat him better. Then, to my surprise, my parents made me go on a break with E and while I was on my break, I made a threat towards myself  at school and my teacher freaked out and then I wound up in guidance for the last class of the day. They called my mom and she stayed calm and reassured me that she still loved me. I told her about the kiss and she said that she always knew I said something for M. Not to mention over the summer, M’s mom tried to push him towards me as well, but M was stubborn and said no, he didn’t want to hang out with me.

I decided to tell E about that night in June in early November and he was livid that I cheated on him; he tried to piece it all together and could never do it. He finally gave up and he dumped me on the night before senior night which is a big deal in the band. Once I was single, I started looking for a new boyfriend, I didn’t need to look far, because M was right there waiting for me with open arms. Then, on November 19th, M asked me to be his girlfriend, and I happily accepted. I am happy to say, I am still with him to this day.