Fear? What is fear? Fear is the feeling you get when you're opening the doors into a new experience. Fear is the feeling I got when I opened the doors of a brand new life; a new responsible life for myself and for the people around me.

When I was 15, I shared a piece of information with my mother. My mother; a person who has been there for me since birth; a person who has changed me, raised me, fed me, and took care of me - my best friend, my world, my other half. I shared a piece of information that even myself couldn't sink into my mind. I was full of fear as I was heading towards her bedroom; full of questions and resentment. I asked myself will my mother hate me. Would she look at me different? Will she still love me even after I disappoint her? Those weren't even half of the questions I had in my mind as I was heading towards her bedroom. As I was twisting the doorknob to let myself in, there she was - my mother, the bravest person I'd ever met, the person who took me in with open arms and has never failed me. But as I was twisting the doorknob to let myself in, I was also letting myself in a world full of fear.

"Mom, I'm pregnant." Those were the first few words I said the moment I opened the door. I'm fear. I knew right then and there my life was over. The look on my mom’s face was unexplainable. I didn't know if it was disgust, disappointment, shame, anything. I just knew it was a look that I've never saw in my life. "What did you just say," asked my mom. Hearing those words made me want to run; run like no other into a new world where I could start over. I wanted to collapse into thin air and ask God if he could please let me stay with Him and never go back. But I knew that was wrong; I knew I had to face this fear that has built in me. I knew I had to look into my mother’s eyes, those beautiful eyes and speak the truth and nothing but the truth. "I'm pregnant. I'm sorry mom, but I'm pregnant" I said. I was only 15 years old, barely a sophomore in high school with no income. Only thing that I had was a brain and a piggy bank with some spare change. As I continued to look into my mother’s eyes with fear and shame, I just waited... waited for an answer until it came.........

"I'm not mad at you, Michelle. I'm not mad at you. We can work through this. WE can work through this." What? My world stopped. Listening and observing those words made me realize why my mother was my best friend. It made me realize why I was even brave enough to open the door and tell her; because deep down inside, I knew she would be there. Fear was developing but at the same time, it was turning into faith.

Throughout my pregnancy, throughout the sickness, the diabetes that was caused during my pregnancy, throughout being anemic at the time, throughout every single appointment, blood being taken out, taking pills to provide me energy to eat, and my mother was there. The only person who I was afraid of letting me be in this by myself was there. Negatively, I thought she would've kicked me out, as any other parent would possibly do, but none of those things were said by her. She stood by me day and night, drove me to my appointments, hold my hand through it all, and cut the umbilical cord. The look on my mother’s face turned from a look I've never saw to a look that I'll never forget when my first daughter was born. It was a look that a child would make when they opened up their gifts Christmas morning. It was a look a wife makes when her husband has come home from war, safe and sound. It was a look full of happiness, full so desire, and full of life. My mother has always told me growing up "wait to have kids" but somehow she looked glad that I didn't wait. Like myself, she was given a new life and this new life changed her... for the better.

Since my daughter was born, my mother has been amazing. She always lived a life full of fear and I never understood why. She always struggled but always kept my sister and I in good condition. Maybe it was because she didn't have what she wanted growing up, but that didn't matter to her because in those beautiful eyes she wanted to make us happy. Having a new life in her life made her change her ways. She went from fearful to wishful. She went from an emotional roller coaster to a happy, stable life. Many believe that having a child makes you go broke, but we didn't. We kept going, and having a new life made us manage our money much different than ever before. My daughter made my mother love me even more, and for that, I'm grateful because even though she was already my best friend, she was now more than that.

I often wonder why my mother wasn't disappointed, or maybe she was, but never showed it. I often wonder what I would've done if my mother wasn't there for support and love. I also often wonder how my life would've been if I lost my mother before this incident. My world would've ended, that's the only thing I had

whenever I had these crazy questions stuck in my head. And now, after 18 months of having my first child, these questions disappeared like a freshly fallen tooth under a child's pillow.

As I can remember, my mother helped me through it all, and without her, I'd be stuck raising a child by myself in a shelter. I thank my mom because she allowed me to continue my education. She allowed me to stay at her home, and simply because she was there. I don't live in a world full of fear anymore; I live in a world full of motivation, power, excitement, and willing to do anything, and everything even though I get a small fear inside of me.