I was diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome. But, I am not the only one. Every year over 200,000 kids are diagnosed with TS (Tourettes Syndrome). It was in 2007, and I was only 5 years of age. My parents started to notice how I was acting really strange. I was acting like a zombie, according to my mom. Around the time I was diagnosed, my sister, Addison, was born. That was 8 years ago. I have had TS for a long time. The hardest thing to know is that there is no cure. Which, honestly, I think is dumb. Doctors have almost cured cancer, but they can’t go out of their way to cure something that is also killing people. TS can’t kill you just by having it. TS has killed up to 55 kids in the USA by suicidal attacks. Their Tourettes Syndrome caused them to do that.

Through all this that was happening, I was always at the doctors. From my home town, all the way to Minneapolis. I would go every other Thursday. I still remember sitting in the doctors office while my parents would gab away, and talk to the doctor. I would walk in, and sit down. I always remembered that there was this poster to the left side of me, hanging on the wall. It had funny faces all over it and it always seemed to make me smile. It had any emotion you could even think of! From mad and sad, to scared and happy! There was this doctor. He was a guy. I never really liked male doctors thought I always feel like girl doctors would get me more than guy doctors would. He was a really funny person though! He had a scraggly beard, and white hair. Whenever I talked, it was mostly about how I was doing, or about how I felt. Sometimes I would always want my parents to leave the room so I could talk to the doctor privately. Sometimes I would think to myself and wonder why I had to go to the doctors. Why couldn't I just stay home? Then I soon found out that I wasn't in just any doctors office. It was some sort of therapy office. I was really mad when I found this out. It made me feel uncomfortable. Whenever I thought of the word therapy, I thought of crazy people that had anger problems. Or people that try to run away all the time. People who need help. I guess I needed help because I was in there. Sitting in the office with the doctor that was supposed to “help” me. I never did tell my parents that I was mad about being stuck in a room, and have to tell my feelings to someone I didn't even know. I hated every minute of being in that room, concealed with my own problems. I always had to crack a smile and act likeI was so thrilled to be there! I wasn't. Not even a little. I don't know how long I had to go, but I eventually stopped going to therapy, and let me tell you one thing. I hated every moment in that doctors office.

   TS doesn’t stop me from being a normal, teenage girl. I can still do other things that most girls can do. I am in basketball. I have been in basketball ever since it started. I am right wing, and left. I don't call myself the best player, but I am pretty good. I also LOVE to sing! Singing is a passion to me. I will sing wherever I go. I probably sing every day! Correction, I do sing everyday! I have always been in music class. I love music. I could never live without it. I also love school. I would rather be in school than be at home. Isn't that weird? School means a lot to me. Some people say that school is dumb and boring. Not to me! I could go all summer. I am also the manager for the boys track team and the girls volleyball team. My favorite hobbies are probably singing, shopping, reading, and hanging out with my friends. School was hard for me at first because no one really knew what Tourettes Syndrome was. It’s not like I expected them to know either. Some people lowered my self-esteem by calling me names, or not wanting to sit by me. But its different now. No one bothers me at my school. They just see me as one of the normal kids. Which is great. They practically forgot I had Tourettes Syndrome. Right now, my self-esteem is as high as my grades. And there all pretty good! Like I said, a lot of people don't know what Tourettes Syndrome is. Most people don't even know it exists. Tourettes Syndrome is a nervous disorder involving repetitive moves, words or unwanted sounds. And when I say unwanted, I mean it! When you have TS you have these things called symptoms. These are things that come with TS. It kind of like when you buy a pair of pajama pants and a pair of socks come with it. But symptoms are worse than socks. Much worse! Symptoms are things you have happen to you when you have TS. My symptoms include: Clearing my throat, whistling, shushing people or things (Yeah, sometimes I just shush at nothing.) and clicking my tongue. I have A LOT more, but if I told you all of them, you would be in an elderly home by the time I was done.

My worst symptom I have ever had is when I would swear. One day, I was in the bathroom brushing my hair and accidentally dropped the brush. Usually, I would have just picked it up, but this time, I swore. I couldn't believe my ears! I just swore! Then after that, it happened up to 50 times a day. (As I recall) Remember when I told you that I hated therapy rooms and doctors? Well, after I started to swear, thats exactly where I went! Right back to the beginning. I had to talk to this women. She had short brown hair, and always crossed her legs when she sat down. I always noticed that every time I spoke, she would take a pen and write down everything I said. I could hear her flipping pages, and getting ready to write on the next page. By the end of my visit, she had pages and pages of writing. My swearing tic eventually wore off. Which meant I didn't have to go to therapy anymore. Now, when I say tic, I don’t mean blood sucking bugs. A tic is another word for saying symptom. People just use the word tic more often than they use the word symptom.

You know what makes me really mad? People always seem to think that if you have a disease or a syndrome, that you can’t have a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or a best friend. Or even a friend at all. Well, they’re wrong. Very wrong. I do have a lot of friends!  They have always been my friends!  I also have had a best friend. She has always been there for me when no one else was. We have some weird connection that I can’t explain. I don’t have that with anyone else! I am a girl best friend, and a guy best friend. That guy, has always been there for me. Even in my weirdest moments of Tourettes. Yeah, I have had boyfriends before, but that’s a story for another time. So, for you people out there that think people who are different can’t have friends, better shut your mouths, because I guarantee that people like me, probably have more friends than you. I express myself and I let other know who I am!I have friends, I have been in a relationship!  I do have a best friend, and no one will top her. Through all my problems, my friends and family are always there for me!  There are some people in this school that have never judged me! They look at me and just see normal. (Even though I am far from normal, in a good way.) These people mean so much to me! They understand who I am and my personality. I wouldn't be the same person as I am today if it wasn't for my friends and family. My parents are the ones who have helped me through it all! I would have never made it this far, had it been for them.

So, lets get back to symptoms and tics. Yes, Yes! I know this part is boring, but you’ll be fine. My latest tics have been moving my arm, and shushing people. There are certain types of tics. Tics fall into two separate categories. They are Motor Tics and Vocal Tics.  Motor Tics are facial movements, and arm movements. Anything that has to do with the moving of your body. Such as closing your eyes, sticking out your tongue, rolling your eyes and other stuff. Vocal Tics are sounds you make. Such as grunting, clearing your throat, clicking you tongue and more. There are pretty much any sound you make that comes out of your vocal box. 

Haven't you ever had that thought, where you wondered if something changed, you would be different? I have always wondered what it would be like if I didn't have Tourettes Syndrome. Would I look different? Would I be different? Would I be prettier? Would I have more friends? Or less? To be honest, none of this matters to me! I am glad the way I am and who I am! It helps some people to know what the reader looks likes, and get a good description. Well, I have a little over shoulder length, blond hair. I have blue eyes and I am pretty tall! I am kind of a tomb boy, but yet, I am a girly girl. If you were in front of me up close, you could probably notice that I have this line, underneath my nose. It happened when I was small. I was at a family members house or something, and my cousins and I wanted to go outside. We had wanted to go outside for awhile but couldn't because we needed too wait for the rain to dry up. My cousin and I, (Her name was Avery) went outside and I noticed that there was this golden retriever hooked up to their play set. Being the dumb girl I was, not knowing that big dogs can be dangerous, I run up to pet the dog. Right as my hand touched to top of the dog’s head, it jumped up on his hind legs and all I saw was it flashing teeth coming for me. I remember being face down in the grass. I didn't feel any pain. My bottom lip was numb and I seemed to get an immediate headache. I though I was fine, but I wasn't. My cousin looks at me and screams. She screams so loud that I wanted to know what was wrong! She yells for my uncle to come out. He does and he rushes over to pick me up. I didn't know what was happening! He brings me inside and yells for someone to call the ambulance. I don't think they ever did, instead my mom picks me up and we head for the door. I remember that there was this mirror on the right side of the wall. I started yelling! I wanted to see what was wrong! I remember my mom telling me that there is no time to show me. She pulls me out into the car and she sits me down on her lap. We pull out of the driveway. I was really scared and I asked my mom if I was going to need stitches. She said that she didn't know. I could tell she was lying. She just didn't want me to get scared. I also remember being in the car, and the I caught a glimpse of the rearview mirror, and I swear, all I saw was red. Red. Blood. We run into the hospital. I remember sitting down and this women told me to open my mouth as wide as I can. They brought me into the ER. I get two shots. One tickles, and one hurts! I start to get really sleepy, and the next thing you know, I am seeing things! I see visions of white. It was all blurry and white. Throughout the operation, I felt people squeezing my hand. I also felt people tugging on my face. It didn't hurt, but it felt weird. Thats it. I cant remember anything more but one thing. I looked into the mirror, and I looked like the joker. I had a diagonal scar across the right side of my face. It took about a month or two, but I finally got  them taken out! I had to be careful. I could get my stitches wet, I was bad!

That is one of my bad stories. There are more, we will get back to them, but lets get back to some of the basic stuff.

People have always wondered the ratio between boy and girls. Like who gets it more? Well, usually males get Tourettes Syndrome more that females do! It all has to do with your cells and how they combine. I am not really that good at science so I can’t give you all the details. Have you ever known anyone that smokes, and you would constantly tell them to stop? Tourettes is almost exactly like that. You want to stop but you can’t. You try as hard as possible to stop, but you just can’t!  It’s hard not to be able to control it sometimes. Sometimes I would sit in my bathroom and cry. I wouldn't know what to do. People would be as mean as to say I was a disease myself. At times, I would just breakdown and not know what to do. It would happen in school sometimes, and I would have to go hide in the bathroom. I would have to wait until my eyes dried so no one could tell I was crying.  Sometimes I did get in trouble for being gone too long. But of coarse I couldn't tell the teachers why I was actually gone.
A lot of people (Most) think that Tourettes Syndrome is contagious. Its not. Being honest you, the reader of this story, could get Tourettes Syndrome right now! Its all with your body. Though, most people get Tourettes when they are young. People can get it when there old, but you mainly get in your younger years. Tourettes does nothing effect my health in any way! I mean, its not like I am an alien! I can still catch the cold and get the flu, but it has nothing to do with Tourettes Syndrome. The hard thing about Tourettes is that people can be very cruel at times. Have you ever read that book where there is this character and they get bullied, and no one wants to sit with them at lunch? You probably don't think any of that is true. Well, let me tell you, it is! They would call me names, and like I said, would not want to sit with me at lunch. I was bullied a lot at school!  Every single year I would make a presentation, telling people what I had and I described what is was and what I have. After that, some people would still bully me. And they even knew I had it. But, sometimes, you have to push away all that negativity and all the negative comments. I got really used to getting rid of the bad things, and blocking out all the things I didn't want to hear.

I hated the last school I went to! I mean yes, I did have some good friends, but I still hated it! I hated everyone and everything about it. There was this one time when I told my mom wanted to go to the school park, but she said no. I didn't know why I did, but I just went when she told me not to. When I went there, there was this boy and his friends were with him. He was in my classes, but I didn't like him. I accidentally almost pushed him down the slide. He chased me all the way home and told me he was going to kill me. I didn't know if he was joking or not, but I didn't want to find out. My mom hears me yelling and she comes out and tells the boys to leave. They do. I got in trouble because I left when I was specifically told not to. I don't know long it was after the accident, but later, my mom found out she was pregnant! (A year later she had my brother, Jaxson.) I was so glad she was pregnant! One, because I got a new baby brother or sister, and two, I got to move! We had to move because there was no room in our old house. Soon enough, we found, I found a school that accepted me for who I was. Central Springs. The first time I arrived there, I remembered that I was wearing a white dress, that had grey, black, and yellow polka dots. I sat in the desk closest to the door. I remember the first day no one really talked to me, until recess. At recess, there were kids playing soccer in the fields, I dint want to play with them. I really wasn't into soccer then and I am not into soccer now. There were two boys, and they came up to me and introduced themselves. They were nice. One of the two boys asked me if I wanted to come and play soccer. I told them I didn't know how to play, but I said yes anyway. The the weeks pass and I start to make some really great friends! Throughout the years that I have been here, some of my best friends, have moved away. There was one person, she was a really good friend, but she does not like me anymore, and I don’t know why.

Then, there comes the hard part of school. Yes, I will agree that I loved the school I was going to, but it doesn’t mean people weren't mean to me. I still got bullied. It was in the 6th grade. There was these two mean boys. They thought they were so cool, and that they were everything. They were dumb boys that wore their pants too low, and swore to much! They were giving me a hard time in school that day. One of the boys house was like block away form the school. Everyday I had to pass his house. Usually I didn't care. He would walk on one side of the road, and I would walk on the other, but that day they were being mean, and I was scared to walk past that house. They taunted me in school, and tripped me in the halls. School had ended and I was walking home. It was raining outside and it was getting worse. The two boys came out of the one house. They yelled at me. I didn't here what they had said the first time. Then, they swore at me and kept calling me psycho. Then one of the boys got on his bike and started to follow me home. Over and over again he kept on calling me a psycho. They didn't stop. I started balling and crying. I couldn't stop. I finally thought they had left me alone when one of the guys came up with his bike.

“GO AWAY!” I shouted! I was crying and all he did was yell back.

“PSYCHO!” I kept on crying and I couldn't stop! The rain was making it harder to breath, and my hair was sticking to my face. The rain rolled down my body and everything was wet! My bag, my hair, my cloths. It was raining so hard you probably couldn't even see my tears. Just as I was about to run away screaming, a teacher, Mrs. Heck, drives up in a white car, and she rolls down her window and asks me if those boys are giving me a hard time, and offered to give me a ride home. I tell her no. I cant remember why I said no, but all I remember is that I never got in that car. I didn't want the boys to think I was a scared, but I was. She asked me if I was sure I didn't want a ride, and once again, I said yes. She drives away, and I can still remember hearing the pitter patter of her tires splashing on the gravel. One of the boys cam up to me and said, “Did you get scared and tell teacher?” He must have seen that it was the teacher. If he hadn’t, I probably would have told him it was my dad or something. From 4 years ago, to this day, those boys still bug me. Its funny. As I was writing this story in science, the same boy in the story, was working behind me, and he called me the B-word. Those boys will one day come to realize that bugging me, was a waste of their time. Luckily, no one has ever bugged me to the point where I had to leave. Which I am grateful for!  Which is also why I decided to write this story in the first place.

It is hard writing this story. It reminds me of how I used to be. Of how I am today. Of how I went from not friends, to friends that I can call my own. 

Tourettes Syndrome changed my life. In a positive way, and a negative way. It helped me overcome things most people couldn't do. I feel like this story, could change other peoples lives. No, it WILL change other peoples lives. It will change others people opinion on how they view Tourettes Syndrome.

I
Sydnee Lynne B.
Have Tourettes Syndrome
But Tourettes Syndrome
Does not have me.