To The Parent that Chose Addiction

Growing up, I used to hate you; I resented you. I would question every day why did God give me a parent like you. You are just a memory that constantly pops up everyday when I face hard things in life. Growing up, I used to see the bad in having a parent as an addict, but now I see the good. I’m not writing this to hurt you; I am writing this to thank you for showing me how to be strong. You showed me not to depend on anyone or anything.

From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone to prove to me that I am good enough to be loved. From you, I have learned that life is going to be difficult at times but I shouldn’t give into things that make me feel good, normal for a short while, but to search for the real happiness in life.

My childhood was empty memories of you never being there. Every after school activity looking for you in the stands. Finally I knew that I was no longer your #1 priority anymore; your high was. You’ve turned my hurt into motivation. Every tear that I’ve shed was because of you. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through all that hurt I have pushed it into becoming the best person I can be. The fear of me turning into you is not gonna happen. I have learned that the cycle of addiction isn’t something that will continue into my life.

Most importantly you showed me how to love unconditionally. Even though you’ve been absent in my life I love you more than anything. No matter the tears you’ve caused, the amount of heartbreak, and pain, you will be my favorite memory.