My grandmother had to fight an unfair battle with cancer that wrenched her health away. Her tired body allied with medicine to protect her from the piercing daggers and bows the enemy shot, but they kept increasing. Eventually, my grandma had to surrender. My grandma, who was a mother, wife, and friend, lost the combat with cancer. The relationship between my grandma and me, my appearance both physically and mentally, and my outlook on life altered from the experience I went through during the time my grandma was sick.

Visiting my grandma was hard for many reasons, but it brought us both closer. Before there were any traces of cancer in my grandma’s body, we had a strong relationship. We would see each other during holidays and she would occasionally come to my sports games; her love and interest was clearly known. Then, cancer was detected in her body, and I suddenly had the urge to talk to her more than I had before. I would talk about how school was going, the papers I had written, sports, playing the piano, and church. My grandma was a musical person, so she was delighted when I talked about my new interest in the piano. Religion was also very important to her. Sharing my new events I had been involved in with my church with my grandma created a stronger bond between the two of us. The relationship that was developed strengthened our love, and constructed a content memory of her that I will never forget.

Although my bond with my grandma had improved, that didn’t change the fact that she was still losing a fight. Coping with losing my grandma changed my appearance. My face was paler than usual, and I had dark circles under my red, puffy eyes. I tried to cover my face with strands of hair, insecurely looking down when I paced the hallways. I would also try to avoid making eye contact with the ones I talked to, an attempt to shield myself from judgement. As my physical appearance changed, so did my mind. I felt like I had taken medication that numbed my emotions. In school, I wasn’t putting my full effort into my work like I did before. I would catch myself zoning out and not paying attention to the teachers, or conversations between friends. When I made mistakes, I would blame myself and get frustrated very easily. All of the pressure to excel in my activities the way I did before my grandma was sick was piling up and becoming overwhelming. While my grandma’s character was waning, some of my own positive traits went along with her.

Despite being in a state a grief before and slightly after my grandma passed away, my thoughts on life changed. When my family heard she had cancer, we were sure that it was something she would overcome. Eventually, more of the deadly cells were found spreading through her body and they were too fast to stop, so she decided to go on hospice. Every week, my grandma’s condition declined, zooming past in a blur. It was a very emotional time to know that I wouldn’t see my grandma as herself again when we visited. After we made our way home, I would sit in silence, wondering why my grandma had to get cancer and why she had to die from the disease. After a couple of days, I grew more understanding. I learned to be more appreciative towards the ones around me and what they could be going through. I knew I wasn’t the only person who has lost a family member. There are multiple people who have gone through the same thing as I did, so I wasn’t alone in the situation. Taking a step back, I examined the big picture and saw how fortunate I am to have the life I live, even with the little bumps in the road.

A great amount of realization went on in my household and I am very grateful for it. There were many positive and negative changes from the unfortunate departing my family and I underwent, some including my relationship with my grandma, my display, and my perspective on my life. My grandma drifted out of her body and greeted death when her time on Earth had expired. Her own personal fighters didn’t have the strength and determination to overcome the soldiers of cancer. The big red puffing chief was gradually slowing down and she couldn’t be replaced as the soldiers destroyed her cells. Although my grandma has left this life, that doesn’t mean she isn’t still with me. I will forever remember my grandma, not in the way she was in her sick days, but as she was when at her finest. I have learned a lot about death, and as said from a headstone in Ireland, “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, but love leaves a memory that no one can steal.”