Dear five year old self,

You are beautiful. You may not believe it, but you are. Yes, you don’t have the gorgeous hair and you’re awkward from every cell in your body... But you are alluring l. You always should know you are winsome and you should never let anyone take that away from you. You are beautiful and you will learn to love yourself as you grow.
Look I’m going to be honest with you. I still haven’t learned to love myself. I still get anxiety when someone compliments me and I still get nervous when aunties and uncles ask you the most random questions. I still get nervous in new spaces where I can’t talk and I choke up. I still say the most randomest things when I’m trying to be funny. But loving yourself is a process. It’s not something you learn one morning and you can automatically confident and comfortable in your own skin and you can walk down the halls with pride. I still to this day have not fully learned to love myself and that’s ok.

You are amazing and no one ever tell you that. You always thought that you didn’t belong. That you were adopted. You thought that because you looked and acted a certain way there was no way there was no possible way you were related to your exquisite mother and sister. You thought that they were perfect. You need to know that they have insecurities too.

There are many time where you think you’re useless, like you were the unwanted ruby in a pile of diamonds.Though you are  and  You think not achieving the things your friends have makes your worthless and have no point to society. This is a lie. Out of all the people you will ever meet, your biggest enemy will always be the girl standing in the mirror. You recognize her reflection as a familiar friend. She seems like a warm comforting home where you can sit by the fire and drink cups and cups of hot chocolate. Yet, she always seemed like she had a secret she was keeping away from you. She made you eat every brain cell in your body making you think about why you aren’t liked by the other boys and why you are darker than all the girls on Disney Channel but you never realized that you could always destroy the girl in the mirror by just walking away

You never really realized until you got older that your wrists are very tiny. You never realized until a girl grabs your wrists and screams this new found discovery. Ever since that moment, you will never be able to look at your body the same ever again. You saw all the positives turn to negatives like mood rings that change colors. Never let those insecurities bring you down. It’s ok if you have small ears, if you want a cond piercing, get a second piercing. If you want straighten your hair because it makes you feel pretty, then whip out that straightener. You have the right to be able to control what is put on your elegant canvas. You are the artist and you have an infinite number of colors and paintbrushes to work with to create your masterpiece. 

You never really understand the definition of beauty until you see it with your eyes. Just because you don’t have the curves of your sister or the good looks of your mother, you are bewitching. By being pretty it doesn’t mean you are beautiful. Yes, you can be both but never discourage yourself for not being pretty. Always love yourself for being beautiful.