I feel as though the social aspect of high school is just as important to, if not more important than the academics. If  you don’t have a good social life, or if you are unsure of yourself and hang around with the wrong people, then your grades are going to suffer due to emotional distress and lack of self esteem. One cannot maintain good grades while being bullied and put down by peers. This obviously is not the case for everyone, but it is the case for more people than not. One of which, as you can guess, is me.

When I was a freshman, I was shy, torn-up, and somewhat invisible. I was depressed and anxious and had dramatically low self esteem. I was entering high school following a disastrous middle school experience during which I was severely bullied. I was bullied to the point where I felt physically sick and stayed home from school. I didn’t know who I was or who I could become. All I knew was I didn’t want to go to high school because I was afraid high school would be just as bad as middle school.

And ya, it was for me. Freshman year was a continuation of middle school. I felt the same anxiety that I had in middle school. I felt lost, out of place, and alone. And when I say alone, I am not exaggerating in the least. For the entire first semester, I was forced to sit entirely alone at lunch. Minnechaug’s cafeteria is not super big, but it is big enough for every table to be full. Well not mine. Mine was empty. It was just me and three empty benches in the middle of a crowded cafeteria. I didn’t even have a smartphone back then to use to distract myself from the humiliation of sitting alone. I couldn’t play apps or go on the internet, or even text anyone-well that was only because my mom was my only friend. But anyway, like I said, freshman year was just a continuation of middle school. It was not fun, at all, to say the least. But I am not here to tell you about my miserable early teen years. And I’m also not here to tell you that high sucks and that it’s life’s equivalent of hell. No. I am here to tell you just the opposite. High school is not hell. It is a place where you will learn. You will learn some of the most valuable information in high school that will carry into life after high school. Some of this important information is (one) you will learn in high school are you are not the same person you were in middle school, (two) who your real friends are, and (three)don’t take bullies seriously.  

Like I said previously, I was a sad, insecure, and beaten up kid. One who thought that no one could ever respect her and that nothing good could ever happen to her.  I didn’t think I would change my life around, especially not in high school. But, believe it or not, I did. And that’s where it happened: high school. Following freshman year, I was able to find myself. It was hard, very hard actually, but I did it. I found happiness, friends, and a much better understanding of who I am. Now you’re probably wondering how I was able to do this. Going from lonely and depressed to confident and happy is not easy and it takes a good amount of time to do. But I wanted a change. I no longer wanted to be that shy and depressed kid and that feeling was stronger than any downright negative emotion I have had. I wanted to be happy. So starting sophomore year, I decided to make the change. The first thing I did was join clubs. I was not involved in any clubs freshman year and I honestly regret that. I wish I had gotten involved with them sooner as they were very important to building my self-esteem. But I guess I wasn’t ready freshman year due to the fact I was so shy. But I’m glad I got involved when I did. Being a part of a club means that you are a part of the school community. I mean even if you’re not a member of any club or sports team for that matter you are a part of the community, but being in clubs gets you involved with the school and helps the school and the people in it to perform at higher levels while also enhancing your own experience at the school. My favorite club that I joined was the Smoke Signal, the school newspaper. I was a writer and an editor up through senior year. But I was also a reporter and not just a writer and because I was a reporter, I had to go way out of my comfort zone to interview people. I always got nervous before doing it, very nervous, but in the end it increased my confidence because I knew that I could talk to people in a casual yet professional manner without being judged. And the best part about it was I was totally 100% me. I didn’t have to change my personality one bit and the people I interviewed always told me that they couldn’t wait for the next month’s paper so that I could interview them again. I have interviewed many different people throughout my high school career including the principle, vise principal, superintendent, and my personal favorite the athletic director. All these people are pretty high powered people and interviewing them really helped me to break out of my shell and increase my confidence. Furthermore, one really interesting thing that I took away from the paper is that I’m really not that shy. I actually love talking to people. I think because of being bullied and not having any confidence caused me to be afraid to talk to people because I didn’t want to get hurt again. Once I got over that hump and realized that not everyone is “out to get me” or will make my life miserable, I was able to open up and talk to people, and from doing so, I learned that I loved talking to people. To continue, I think being on the newspaper also influenced my major for next year. And no, it’s not journalism. I don’t want to write for a living. I want to study graphic design, which is a key incorporation in the process of laying out a newspaper. Other clubs I joined are the yearbook committee, key club, and Emeralds, the school literary and art magazine. All of which have helped me to better myself, make new friends, and break out of my shell. So you guys, when you enter high school, please PLEASE join clubs. There's at least 50 different clubs to chose from so you have many options and opportunities to get involved. Being a part of a club will help you to better yourself, make friends, and will help you to find out who you really are as a person.

One of the hardest things you will learn in high school is that you will lose friends. You will make friends and will lose friends, that’s just a part of growing up. Let’s be real here, you and the friends that you have right now will not be friends forever. You probably say that you and your friends will be bffl, but by the time you get to junior or senior year, you will have parted ways. Life will get in the way, romantic relationships will emerge, and you’ll just find new friends to hang out with. And when you get older too, like I said, you figure out who you are, what you want and don’t want in life. So you may make an executive decision to not have that friend in your life anymore because they’re just not right for you. I started high school with no friends, but then I made some through clubs and I was a member of the tennis team for all four years so I made friends from that, and I made some just from being in the same classes as them. I have maintained some of these friendships, but others didn’t last too long. For example, I was really good friends with this girl from my latin class sophomore and junior year. We were inseparable. We did everything together. But then she went off to HCC for an early graduation requirement. We didn’t really see each other that often and when we did, it was awkward. Our personalities changed: she had a college mindset and I was still in high school. Plus our opinions on certain things drastically differed, causing tension between us. We eventually stopped talking to each other. Our friendship didn’t last and we were the kind of friends who would say that we are going to raise our kids together, and obviously that is not going to happen. Things change. As much as I didn’t want to lose her as a friend, I had too because it was for the best. All I’m saying is is don’t make unrealistic goals with your current friends like you’re going to raise your kids together because 9x out of 10, that will not happen.Your best friends now will probably not be your best friends in three or four years. You’ve just got to know that and understand that there is a reason why your current friends won’t be in your life in a few years, so just accept. Chances are it’s for the better.

Alright, the last point I’m going to make is don’t take bullies seriously. I learned that hard way. I let it bother me and let it sink beneath my skin, which is exactly what bullies want, but don’t. It’ll deteriorate your life and on top of that it will give the bully more power because then they’ll know they won. But you know what, I learned that I’m so much better than that. I’ve learned that I am a good person and a strong person and that no bully has control over me. What do they know? Not me, that’s for sure. I almost have to pity them. It just makes me wonder what happened in their life to make then so mean and miserable. I can’t control what goes on in their home life, but I can control how I feel about myself. They can’t. They have absolutely no control over my feelings toward myself. It took me a while to realize that, but I’m glad I did. Honestly, if I never got bullied, I would not be who I am standing before you today. I would not have gained the confidence and strength to be in this class.

And now I just want to say one last thing about bullies: their actions will come back to bite them. Let’s just say that the tiny twit who bullied me throughout middle school is now a weed smoking teen mom. Just saying. I am so better than that. And guys, trust me when I say this, bullies have nothing over you. You are so much better than that. I know it’s hard to ignore them, but you just have to know that you are a stronger person. I mean really, should you really cry over a pot smoking mom calling you “white trash”and telling you that you will get nowhere in life? No I don’t think so and you shouldn’t. Just look at where she is now and that ought to set the record straight. 

Alright so to wrap this up, when you go to highschool next year, get involved. Join sports teams, join clubs, join choir, join band, join anything that interests you. If you want to join a club but none of your friends want to, join it anyway. Joining clubs is a great way to get to know people and find out who you are, like they did for me. Reach out of your comfort zone and try new things like I did for the Smoke Signal. Know that these people are not going to be in your life forever, so don’t get too worked up about what they’re saying to you or about you. Know that when you lose a friend, it’s for the best. Yes it sucks in the moment, but just know there's a reason why and that someone will come along to replace that void that friend left behind. High school is only four short years. You’re not going to see your peers once you graduate so do what you want to do to. Don’t allow the opinions of others control what you do. You’re better than that. If you’re going through a hard time now due to bullying or similar issues, I’m sorry. It’s a terrible feeling, I know. But high school is for overcoming that. It’s for learning about who you are and learning that you are better than any bully. Rise above and things will get better.