My grandmother is gifted in many ways. She writes the most moving poetry, gives the greatest hugs, and makes incredible snickerdoodle cookies. I love this woman very dearly and appreciate her for everything that she is. In order to do that, I need to recognize that along with being an incredible poet, She is the clumsiest human being I know. This is a tribute to my grandmother, hopefully sharing all of her wonderful qualities, but definitely focusing on one.

“$5 dollars to see me backstroke.” hollered my grandmother as we neared the pool.

We were on vacation in our typical spot, a small condo in Rhode Island and my entire family, including my grandmother, decided it was time to go for a swim.

I locked eyes first with my brother, then my cousins, my grandfather, and finally my aunt. None of them appeared willing to pay $5 to see my grandma backstroke. Although the decision was unanimous, I saw different reasons behind each set of eyes. My cousin, Chris, did not feel this sight to be worth $5. My mother didn’t want to spend money for something that would never happen. My brother was confused, my grandfather was fearful, and i simply didn’t want to be a witness when everything went wrong.

She claims that she can swim, but she also claims she can ride a bike, and while i have never seen her attempt the former, if it is anything like the later, I don’t want to. The one and only time i saw my grandmother ride a bike i was certain that i was dreaming. No exaggeration, as if in a cartoon, my grandmother sat on the bike and fell to one side. She simply lied there with the bike on top of one leg and under another until someone was able to help her.  Luckily, we were on the grass when this occurred. Water may not be so forgiving to my big hearted, talented, and well read grandmother.

When my family burst out with a collective “NO” I was immensely grateful. While the look of mild disappointment on my grandmother's face broke my heart, we all knew it was for the better that she stay on dry land.