Teen brain, an illness that causes the behavior of teens, obviously. Symptoms include sulking, procrastination, laziness, sarcasm, and bad attitudes among other things. Teen brain lasts from about 13-18 years of age and cannot be stopped, there’s no vaccine or cure against it. Below we record the harrowing story of a teen afflicted with this accursed disease in an attempt to understand it better.

It started in ninth grade, when literally every single one of my teachers gave me an entire packet of homework in the first week. They then said it was all due three days later, which is completely impossible. But i did as much as i could, the night before it was due. Apparently so did almost everyone else, emphasis on almost because about three people actually had every packet in completed, and on time. But since most of us actually didn’t finish the english packet we got a two day extension. But once again I decided that television was more important, until the lunch before that class. After that i promised myself never to do that again, that didn’t last long though. About a month later we were given a project worth about 30% of our grade, we had an entire month to complete it, I had an idea for my project that was going to blow minds. I said to myself that I’d do it as soon as i got home, then I got home. It didn’t go as I had planned at all, I went home and immediately started playing video games. This happened everyday for two weeks, then my parents found out, Needless to say, I got it in on time, mainly because my PlayStation 4 was taken away. After that minor incident, I actually started to get my act together, not completely, but old habits die hard.

I have always been a smart person, literally and figuratively. By that I mean I have always been slightly sarcastic, but now, whenever I see a chance to say something sarcastic I immediately jump on the chance to say something clever. Once, I was in class, my teacher got my name wrong once, one time, and for the next marking period I said her name wrong on purpose. I only stopped because she threatened to kill my grade, which wasn't great at the time anyway. In my defense though, it was kinda funny, she always got flustered when I said her fake name, especially since her name sounded like mozzarella. There was also the time my mom yelled at me because she couldn't find her phone, which was in her hand. I called her phone and it rang in her hand. She actually answered it too, so I asked her if she had any luck finding her phone, and she threw a shoe at me. I don't think I’ll ever stop being sarcastic, it's too funny.

Anger has never been a large problem when I was younger, actually I was a very happy child according to my parents. Not anymore though, now I just want to be left with my books and video games. I don't like being in crowds, family occasions make me uncomfortable, and may God have mercy on the soul that decides to wake me up in the morning because I know I won't. I sometimes wonder if I’m too mean, then I remember that I’m too tired to think about that. I make sure to check myself around my mom though, if there’s anyone who absolutely doesn't deserve my attitude, it’s her. Sulking all the time pays off though, it gets me out of uncomfortable conversations,allows me to stay in my room for hours at a time, and best of all, I get to sleep in. On the other hand, I get in trouble for ignoring people, secluding myself in my room, and sleeping until the afternoon.

And so, if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with with teen brain, check with your doctor about getting less homework, more sleep, and maybe that new video game you want? But keep in mind, this is not an excuse, it’s a warning, Teen brain is not a way out of responsibility. As future workers, entrepreneurs, CEO’s, and world leaders we have to outgrow our childish tendencies and get ready to become adults, because it’s up to us to provide a better future for ourselves.