A Pause Like a Semicolon | Teen Ink

A Pause Like a Semicolon

December 18, 2017
By gomez_denise BRONZE, Mundelein, Illinois
gomez_denise BRONZE, Mundelein, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

At this point I hated school, 7 hours was too much I thought. People remember eighth grade as the last, and best year of middle school, for me that wasn’t at all what I thought. Eighth grade in middle school was like walking into a haunted house all frightened, and getting out of it all relieved that you made it through. Every morning I walked through those front doors to enter the school, my heart rushed, all I heard in my head was pounding, the feeling of my heart bursting in my chest hurt, and I just wanted to hide, and cry. Sleeping was an important thing for me. When I got home, I made sure not to make eye contact or talk I went straight into my room like if I was grounded.

The cafeteria in the school was another horror scene, it felt as if I was the only human being, everyone else was zombies. I sat alone, never ate sometimes even cried “Is she okay?” “She needs some kind of help.” “she looks depressed.” “Loner much.” “she has no friends what a surprise haha.” I would listen to the conversations people would have about me. Yes, I was depressed, you can see it in my tired eyes, my pale face, and in my smile, since I didn’t have a smile I never smiled, I kept everything to myself, never wanted to open up to anyone.

Assembly day was the best day, because we would get out early. The assembly was about bullying and judging people I questioned myself, “Didn’t we already learn this?” I was sitting in the corner no, not the one where everyone was at the other one, the one that had spiderwebs all over, and so much dust that you can pile it up just by swiping the floor with your finger. The two teachers that were talking in the assembly were the counselors, the only people that I never went to when I needed help. That changed faster than a blink of an eye, faster than a finger snap.

My language arts teacher told me to go with them after the assembly just to “talk”, by “talk” she meant for them to figure out what was wrong with me since every teacher I had noticed a mood change, and grades dropping mostly.

Assembly is over, we walked to their office, and they offered me a seat more like a couch that once I sat on it I wanted to sleep. They asked what everyone else would ask “Are you okay?” Let me tell you as soon as I heard those words I burst into tears at that moment nothing was holding me back I told them everything I could about my life, it just blurted out like if I was one of those creepy toys  from the store that won’t shut up until you take the batteries out. When I was done talking and crying, I felt as if they took the batteries out I was tired. I wasn’t like sleepily tired I was just tired of going through so much, and not having anyone to tell, I never told my parents because they were a part of my depression, at that point I didn’t have friends either they all judged my life.

I learned how to communicate with people, how to look for help when I need it, now whenever I have a problem I don’t hold it in I talk about it, the best feeling is reliving all the stress, pain, and anxiety you're holding in. My grades changed from F’s to A’s/B’s. I was proud of myself I had a challenge, and I faced it, I fought it. I wasn’t the only one that had this type of situation. The school was still a haunted house, but not as scary as the beginning. My life was like a semicolon I took a pause in life, but I kept going I made it this far, and I’m not stopping.


The author's comments:

I hope this writing of mine gives people strength to get back up on their feet even if they are going through a very rough time. I know it's hard but you eventually over some it. Anyone can win the battle just have to have confidence and talk to someone never keep everything inside, it's always good to talk.


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m1na GOLD said...
on Dec. 20 2017 at 10:55 pm
m1na GOLD, Olympia, Washington
13 articles 0 photos 91 comments
this is beautiful