Under me is broken shards of glass. Hundreds of degrees of flames are above me. I have to get out. Surely, I broke something. If I did, I can't feel it. My adrenaline is subsiding the pain for now. I'm not sure how long I've been passed out. I'm not sure how long I have until the car explodes. I'm deafened by the sound of flames. My eyes burn from the heat and smoke. I try to scream for help, but the smoke restricts any sound from escaping my mouth. It's also getting harder to breathe. I clumsily fumble with the seatbelt which is still harnessing me around my abdomen. I can't. I'm shaking too bad to click the release. Maybe it would just be easier to sleep. That sounds good right now. Sleep. I feel my eyes growing heavier. Although, I don't know if it because of tiredness or from the smoke. Nonetheless, I close my eyes and drift off…
     "CLEAR!" I'm barely conscious. When the paramedics see that I'm awake, they start hounding me with questions that I can't process at the moment. I can feel the extent of my injuries now. My lungs burn. I feel as though I've been bitten by fire ants all over my body. I feel a sharp, agonizing pain in my ribs and right leg.
     I see the one of the paramedics inject me with something. I don't even feel it. My vision fades out to black.
     When I come to again, I'm in a hospital room. My body is intertwined in what seems like hundreds of tubes and wires. I try to call to someone, but a tube is shoved down my throat. I stay like this for a while. Finally, a doctor comes into the room. "Ah, you're awake. Are you in any pain? Lift up one finger for 'yes' and none for 'no'.”
     I don't lift any of my fingers for 'no'.
     "Good. Good. Your family and friends are in the waiting room. Would you like to see them?"
     I lift up my index finger. Yes.
     "Okay. Your family will be here shortly." The doctor says before walking away.
     I only spent a few minutes in that eerie, lonely room before my family gets here. I see my parents, two of my three siblings, my closest friend...but where's Jasmine?
     I tried to think of the last place I saw her. It was in the car. We were going to dinner. I made reservations for the two of us. She was so excited. I was going to propose to her. She must be in a different room. She's alright. I was the one driving. I'm probably in a worse condition than her.
     "Hi, Mark, my beautiful son," my mother says grasping my hand. She has tears in her eyes, "How do you feel?"
     James, my brother hands me a notebook and a pen. I hold the pen as best as I can and write "Where's Jasmine?"
     No one’s answering me. Why isn't any one answering? They're just looking at me. Can't they read?! I look back at the notebook to see if I actually wrote anything. Yes. I did. It's right there, clear as day.
     My father speaks up, "Mark," he says tenderly, "Another car hit the passenger side of your car. They were going pretty darn fast...she-she was killed instantly. She didn't suffer."

     Today I'm back on the plain in which I died. I'm going to see the living. I never thought that this was possible. I was just wandering around and I saw a bunch of spirits around this...light. I felt a compelling force driving me to it. I didn't fight it. I just went toward it, like everyone else.
     It took a while to get through the bustling crowd, but it was worth it. Before not long, I was inside the light. It's a feeling that I hope to never forget. I actually felt something. I can't remember the last time I did that. Most likely because my memories of feeling were erased....
     I don't know how long I had that sensation, but I was overcome with remorse when it stopped. That is, until I opened my eyes. There was so much living around me and cars and buildings.
     I doubled over as a memory came back to me. A city. This was a city. I'm watching the city on the news. I watch as a plane crashes into a building. Someone is there with me...their hand is on my shoulder. “It'll be alright” the voice says. I can feel tears streaming down my face…
     I look around. I still see the city. I don't see any planes or panic. I just see a rush of people talking into inanimate objects pressed to their ears. I see cars stopping and then starting up again. I want to stand here forever. I want to take everything in. However, I want to remember more. I can't do that just standing here.

     What I felt in that inferno during the accident was nothing compared to the knowledge I have of living without her.
     I hate myself. I should have proposed to her long ago. I shouldn't have waited. Now...she'll never know.
     I hate the person who killed her. He had a fight with his wife and decided driving carelessly fast down the road would make his anger vanish. He survived! Sure, he was in worse condition than I was, but still. He survived. I'm glad he's suffering right now. I hope the guilt of killing someone will take his life as well. And sure, her family is suing them, but all of the money in the world couldn't bring her back.
     Her family deserves the money, though. I sincerely hope that the indulgences will lessen their pain. Her parents came in here once. I had just gotten the tube taken out of my throat. It was terrible. They didn't seem...there.
     Her mother had mascara lines stained to her skin from her tears. The father's face was stuck in a wrinkled state. They both looked so tired and miserable. And they just looked at me. They didn't say anything. They didn't try to talk to me. I noticed that her father saw the engagement ring on the little table by my hospital bed. It seemed to make the situation somehow worse. And I could help it. I started sobbing. I apologized to them. I wanted to make sure they knew I loved her, that I missed her. I don't know how much they obtained from it, though. Not with my sobs interrupting my speech and their zombie-like state.
     It should have been me. It should have been me…

     I'm with that same person I was with during the news about the plane crash. Now, were playing Frisbee with a dog. She's a golden retriever.
     "Bring it back, Daisy." Says the mystery man. We both laugh as she gets distracted by a squirrel and drops the Frisbee to chase it. I'm about to call her back, but the mystery man puts his hand on my shoulder and stops me.
     "Let her be. She's happy." He says with a smile looking into my eyes. He leans into my face for a kiss…
     My memory fades and I'm looking at an old, sick stray dog. He's covered in sores and scars and I can see his ribs. I ponder on how such a gruesome scene could have led me to a memory that brought me so much happiness.
     The dog is staring at me. He is the first thing on this plain that has noticed my presence. We stare at each other until the dog is distracted by a dirty man with torn clothes.
     It reminded me how easily the dog, Daisy, was distracted in my memory. I'm very compelled to know who the mystery man in the two of my memories is.

     I'd do anything right now to forget every memory I had with her. Maybe it will lessen this pain…

     Drifting away from that dog lead me to a billboard. I'm not getting any memories from it, but I feel as if it’s important. Perhaps important enough to have dealt with my death. That's what it feels like, anyway. The sign reads "Don't Text and Drive. It can wait. AT&T". The enlarged picture shows a crushed cellphone surrounded by debris.
     Maybe I was texting and driving. Is that how I died? No it can't be. If I guessed it, I would have faded.
     I looked at that sign until the horizon consumed the sun and the light that went with it. It was dark and I was having trouble seeing through the artificial light that was casted upon the billboard.
     I couldn't see. Everywhere I turned there was artificial light. I retraced my steps and found the stray dog. He and the old man were near a dark ally. The dog lifted his head and perked his ears when he saw me.
     It made me feel good that I wasn't some ignored thing. The dog could see me. That was enough.

     I had to be escorted to Jasmine's funeral by one of the doctors, because I wasn't technically stable enough to leave that wretched hospital. I had to beg them to allow me to go.
     The funeral was closed casket. Her parents saw her beforehand and never wanted to see her like that again.
     "Can you please bring me over there," I ask the doctor, pointing to the casket, "and leave me alone for a few minutes."
     The doctor gave me a sad smile and nodded.
     I stared at the casket for a little bit before opening the bottom half. I didn't want to see her face mangled from the accident.
     With tears in my eyes, I took her hand and slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. I hold her cold, lifeless hand and say sorry over and over again heaving sobs.
     The doctor put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at Jasmine's hand, and her finger with her engagement ring on it one more time before closing the casket.

     The artificial light started disappearing when the sun came over the horizon. The dog and I exchanged one last glance before I leave.
     I decided I should go back to that billboard one last time and try and figure it out before giving up on it.
     Nothing about it changed from yesterday. I'm not surprised. I was just hoping that I would get something from it. No such luck. I left it and continued drifting around the city.
     I try to take in all of these scenes. I want to create new memories. It doesn't feel as good as retaining my lost memories, but it's still something. Something that can connect me to the dead. Something that reminds me why I'm here…

     I wasn't allowed to see her get lowered into her grave. I wasn't allowed to even see her grave. The doctor said something like my burns can't be in the sun for extended periods of time. I tried to convince him that I didn't care about myself or my burns. At that moment I wanted to spend every moment with her. But that damned fool wouldn't hear it. He just took the handles of my wheelchair and rolled me into the van. And I couldn't even do anything about it. He used my injuries against me. It wasn't fair.
     I'm actually surprised that I didn't cry, which is what I usually do when I think about her. I was just so gripped with anger. This doctor doesn't understand. He'll never understand. I don't believe anyone will…
     Once again, I'm trapped in this hospital room. No one really comes around anymore. No one cares how I'm feeling because they already know that I'll survive. They all went back to their jobs. But hey, who can blame them? I'm not exactly good company. If anything, I just bring everybody down with me. I don't mean to, but I make them feel how I'm feeling. I don't blame them for not wanting to feel this way, but they should at least call! They can turn those feeling off. I mean, they have so many things to distract themselves with. But me? I have nothing to do here. I'm always thinking about it. It's killing me…

     The sun's going down. I need to get away before the fake light consumes the city. I feel blind when it's all around me. I'm too far away from the stray dog to go back now. I take temporary shelter in a pharmacy. The fake light is here, but I decide to just wait it out.
     When the light is gone, I can see clearly. I haven't been inside any of the places yet. I look around. I see shelves full of replicated items. One is these items is familiar…
     I'm different, younger, and I don't feel good. My chest feels heavy, my nose is stuffed, but I can't blow it, and I have a terrible pressure below my eyes.
     "How do you feel?" An older look-a-like of me walks into the room holding a bottle of red medicine and a thermometer.
     "Mom, I'm all better now. I don't need to take that stuff." I find myself saying, coughing after, making my statement unconvincing.
     She walks over to my bedside, feels my head and takes my temperature.
     "101.9. You need to take this. It'll make you feel better, okay?"
     "I don't like it."
     "Well, I don't like seeing you sick. Bottoms up." She says handing me a cup of medicine. I take it from her and stare at the red medicine. I hesitate for a while but quickly pour it in my mouth and swallow it down with a shudder.
     This is the first memory without him. I was convinced that all of my memories were with him. This makes me want to know about myself more. I hate that I must take shelter every night. I hate waiting. I want to go out into the city right now. For now, I just have my memories to distract me…

     "Hey, Son, how are you doing?" My mother asks me over the phone. She decided to call me after the doctor told her I wasn't eating.
     "Not good." I reply, monotone. Now people want to be here, because they're afraid I'll die.
     "Well, the doctor said if you eat, then you can come home soon."
     "I don't want to live in that empty apartment alone."
     "Well, Daisy misses you. She'll be there with you. You won't be alone."
     "I bought Daisy for Jasmine."
     "Well if you don't want to live there, you father and I will help you pack up and find a smaller place."
     "Look, I'm tired...I'm going to sleep..."
     "Well okay. Sleep is a good medicine for helping you get better. Goodnight, Mark. Get well soon and eat something tomorrow, okay?"
     I let her listen to dead air for a few seconds, "night, mom." Then I hung up.
     I wasn't really going to go to sleep. I thought talking to people would help me, but I think it made my situation worse, honestly. Now, I have our apartment to think about. I can't help but remember everything that happened there, all the good times we had. Then I remember the dog. I got Daisy for her birthday. I got her a few boxes of presents. The last one I made her open was a collar with a name tag that had ‘Daisy’ etched on it. She was confused, that is, until I opened the door to our room. The little ball of fur came running to her.
     I smile and let out a little chuckle, until I realize she won't have any more birthdays…

     As I drift away from the pharmacy, I see a sign. It says Mark's Pizzeria. I feel a memory coming back to me.
     I'm older than I was in the previous memory, but younger than I was when I died. There are people all around me the same age. All of the girls are wearing intricate dresses, and all of the boys are wearing tuxedos.
     I'm looking scornfully at one of the girls who is wearing a tiara.
     "C'mon. What's that face for?" A handsome looking boy says, teasing me. Something tells me that we came here together.
     "I don't think it's fair that she gets to be prom queen."
     "Jealous?"
     "Well, yeah! It should have been us. Don't you think so? I mean, we've been dating since freshmen year. She literally just started dating Matt." I rant.
     "We don't need to be prom king and queen. I love you and you love me right? That's all that matters."
     I smile, "you always know what to say, Mark..."
     That's the name of the guy in almost all of my memories! Mark. He's been in my life for so long. That's why he's in so many of my memories.

     One of the doctors come in my room the next afternoon.
     "Mark, if you don't start eating soon, we're going to have to give you a feeding tube. Are we clear?"
     I look at him and nod. There's no point in arguing. The doctor will get his way in the end anyway.
     A nurse comes in the room and sits a tray of food on my lap.
     "Good. Now, eat. You'll get out of this hospital sooner if you do." The doctor says before walking out of the room.
     I stare at the food and sit it on the little table next to the hinged box that once held Jasmine's ring. I let out a sigh. How do the doctors expect me to eat? I'm not hungry. Every time I think of her, I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I'm thinking about her constantly…

     On the other side of the road, I think I see Mark. He's walking out of a subway station. Ever since I found out who he was, I want to find him and see him in person.
     Intrigued, I start walking across the street. This street isn't as busy as some of the others that I've seen during my visit. Don't get me wrong, there are still cars coming at me, just not as many.
     The muffled barking of a dog distracts my intrigued trance. It's coming from inside of a car. He's barking at me. I stop and watch, which makes to dog act ballistic. The dog starts clawing at the windshield of the car. His owner tries to scold his dog, taking his eyes off of the road. He doesn't see the car that's making a turn. He, too, isn't paying too much attention to the road. He doesn't check to see if anything is coming. Maybe it's because this isn't a busy road.
     The two cars collide.
     I let in a big gasp, even though I don't need air. I remember!
     I'm going to dinner with Mark. I've been looking forward to this for over a month. I have a hunch that he's going to propose to me, but I don't lead him on. I try not to give my hopes up, either.
     The radio is turned down and he's talking to me about his day at work. He pauses unexpectedly, causing me to look at him. If he wasn't driving, I think he'd look at me back.
     "What is it Mark?" I ask, slightly worried.
     "I just had an idea."
     "What's that?" I ask.
     "Shh...It’s a surprise." He says with a smile.
     I giggle a little. Is he thinking about the proposal? I can't get this smile off my face.
     "I love you, Jasmine." He tells me.
     "I love you too, Mark."
     We keep driving with the radio turned down to the low volume. I don't turn it up. I can see that Mark is lost in thought. I don't want to disturb him. Besides, I'm lost in thought, too. I look out the car window. There's a beautiful sunset tonight.
     Distracted by the scenery, I almost don't see it in time. I see it just at the last second.
     "MARK!" I exclaim, gaping out the window as a car is coming right toward me. Time seems to slow down, but that car is still going so fast. I feels so helpless. I can't do anything.
     I feel pain entwine my body, then nothing at all.
     Suddenly, I remember everything about what I was, who I was. I can feel a tingling sensation throughout my entire body. I look at my hands. They're disappearing. They're fading. I'm fading.
     I grasp the last memory I had. Jasmine. My name was Jasmine. I close my eyes and let my memories break through their dam. The tingling is seeming to get stronger. I can't feel my hands anymore. I smile. This feeling is extraordinary.
     When the feeling is gone, I open my eyes. I'm at Mark's bedside. He's in a hospital. I guess he survived. I can tell he's giving up, though. I don't want him to go through the process I went through yet. He deserves to live his life. I kiss his forehead, even though he can't feel it. I bet he doesn't even know I'm here.
     He looks around the room, almost confused. Then, he gets the full tray of food that is sitting on a nightstand. He fumbles with the left side a bit. That's when I see an empty box that used to have an engagement ring in it. I smile. He was going to propose to me that night. He starts eating, slowly. It looks like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

     I feel like I'm being watched. Thinking that I have a visitor, I look around the room. No one is there. I'm confused. I swear someone is here with me. I can feel it. Then, I get this crazy idea that Jasmine is here with me. I'm convinced that she is.
     I slowly get the tray of uneaten food. I pretend to struggle with one side. If she is here, she'll see that I got her a ring. Even though it's not in the box, she'll get the idea.
     I start eating. Suddenly, my stomach ache is gone. Besides, I don't want her to worry about me. I don't want anyone to worry about me anymore. I need to get home. I need to take care of Daisy. She wouldn't want me to spend my life here in this hospital.
     I'll never forget you, Jasmine, and I never want to.