In my heart and mind, I always return to Atlantic Island Park. “Where is Mr. Bear?” a small voice wakes me from my thoughts. “I haven’t seen Mr. Bear, Ben” Venom seeps through my tired voice. God, we only spent 2 hours in the park and it took so much out of me. “Stay in the car, I’ll go ask if anyone has seen him” 

The lights in the Park’s sign hum, which is ironic for how loud it is, because there are probably only three working light bulbs left in that sign. “Atlantic Island Park attendants, the park is closing now, please make your way to the parking lot,”. My boots skid across the concrete as I make my way over to the ticket booth which also doubles as a lost and found. Inside the small room, I look through the window to look for an employee, I see a man in his early 40s maybe. He has short brown hair and a neat mustache. He’s wearing a teal dress shirt, khaki’s, and a tie that has the park mascot “Chipper Chuck” on it. Before I even opened my mouth to ask to see the lost and found, the man was already staring at me with a strange expression.

“Where was the last place you saw your son?” The man asked in a monotone voice as if it was something he’d asked a million times before. “What?” I look at the man and try to understand what he means. “I’m not looking for my so-” “What was he wearing the last time you saw him?” The man Interrupted, I grew frustrated and was about to ask him what he was talking about when I heard the pitter-patter of little footsteps behind me. I turn around and see Ben run into the park. “Ben!” I shout, trying to get him to come back. The man’s voice scares me as he speaks up again. “I'll let you into the park so you can find your son.”

Before I can say anything the man presses a button on his desk and I can hear a small click of the gate unlocking. I push the gate open just enough that I can slip through. I look at the escalator that guests have to take to get to the ground level of the park, it's off. I start climbing up the long steps as I hear giggles that I know belong to my baby, the same giggles he made when he used to play with his trucks. The same giggle used to do when he daydreamed, It was like there was something funny happening and only he could see it. I wish I could still smile the way he can.

I’m deep in thought as I climb the stairs into the park, but something feels off… Something was wrong… That feeling boiled inside of me for some time. I tried to remember what my psychologist told me about my “Irrational thoughts.” but I never paid attention during my appointments. My thoughts were always in the past. All of a sudden every light in the park sparked to life. But it wasn’t like how the lights were today. The lights felt brand new. Like the first time I ever went to the park when I was a little girl.

I finally got to the top of the stairs and stared at the park as it seemed to roar to life. Each ride, restaurant, and game had its lights on. It sounded like a bustling crowd was around but there wasn’t a single soul in sight.

I looked around to see if I could spot Ben. He stood in the distance, taking in every light and just soaking it in. “Ben! The park is closed buddy! We gotta go home!” I shouted to try and convince him to come to me. “No, Mama! Let’s play tag!” With that Ben took off running.

I chased after him as quickly as I could, or at least as fast as a single mother in her 30s could. Ben ran through the park only to stop to look back at me with a devilish grin on his face. A grin that I had never seen before. A grin that I know doesn't belong to my baby.

I run and run, and run. Until I watch him get on the swan ride. I watch as his little swan boat starts moving along the track. Who left a ride on and moved after park hours? Isn’t that a safety issue?! I stand on the dock and wait for the next swan boat to arrive. I watch as a beat-up little swan boat slowly glides down the track and over to the dock. I sat down.

This ride had always been one of Ben’s favorites. He loves the idea of a swan carrying him over water and taking him on an adventure, the fact that the ride tells his favorite story is just a bonus to him. My eyes have to adjust to the newfound darkness as the little boat takes me into a cave. After a moment a projector hums and shows a projection of a little boy and girl as a speaker begins telling the story of Hansel and Gertel.

I used to read this story to Ben every night before bed. I used to tell him that he was Hansel and I was Gretel, that even though we weren’t siblings, it was always gonna be me and him against the world. I’ve been on this ride with Ben so many times that I just block the story out and try to gather my thoughts.

Every couple of minutes I got distracted by the little boat bumping or rocking and it was a little harder than it probably should have been. I look up at the projections for a moment to see that the ride is almost over. I got back into my thoughts just to be startled out of them by the screams of the evil witch over the speakers.

It never sounded that realistic before….

Her screams and cries go on for what feels like an eternity as the narrator describes how her body burns in detail which is far too graphic for a kid's story. As the screams become quieter I can hear children laughing in the background. The laughter gets louder and louder as the voice describes how Hansel and Gretel ate the witch. I listen in horror as the sound from the speaker starts to crackle and buzz.

I hear a strange creaking not from the speaker but from the boat. I can hear the creaking coming from the swan's neck. I stare as the swan’s head turns around to stare back at me. Its eyes were pitch black and red paint cascaded down that side of its face.

Its beak was split open and I could see into its mouth, where I saw row after row of teeth, not the kind of teeth that should be in a swan’s mouth, but human teeth, children’s teeth.

The ride suddenly stops and I look around to see the ride has ended and I'm back at the dock. I let out a deep breath that I didn’t even know I was holding. I stand up and my legs wobble from whatever acid trip I just experienced on that ride.

I scan around for my baby boy, and spot him walking up the path to the “Chipper Chuck’s Stageplay.” I follow after him. “Benoni! This isn’t funny anymore!! You come back right now!!” I call after him and he looks back at me with that same evil grin, I shiver as I see it again.

Where did I go wrong? I’m a single mother raising an adventurous little boy, you’d think people would be a little more compassionate and understanding, but no. All it ever is is that I’m doing a bad job raising my son. Well forget you, I’m doing this all alone. And now the little tool is running away from me! Like I’m some kind of monster! Oh great! The little tool already sees me as a monster. God, sometimes I just wish I could show him what a real monster looks like…

I freeze as I realize that I am a bad mother…

I shake my head. I don’t have time to think about what I’m doing right and wrong. I just need to catch Ben put him in the car and drive home.

I keep chasing after him when I see all the lights on the huge Chipper Chuck stage. I watch as the curtains open and a bunch of puppets start to dance on the stage. Or at least I think they’re puppets. But they look too realistic to be puppets. The nails on their hands, feet, and neck that make them dance are bleeding…?And it looks like their eyes are bloodshot and bulging. Their smiles look too big too. Too big to be a normal smile. I look closer and see their mouth sewn into a permanent big smile. The more I look, the more I realize that those aren’t puppets….

Their kids….

Their bodies are limp and lifeless as the strings in their hands and feet force them to dance. I feel sick to my stomach as I watch them dance and dance. I start to walk away to find Ben and watch as their heads and bloodshot eyes follow my every movement. I want to help them, I do, But my child comes first. I pick up my pace as I keep running down the path. I can hear the sobs of the kids on stage as their only viewer leaves.

I turn the corner and I see “The Monster” which is a ride that just spins you around. The ride is in full motion as is one person on the ride, Ben. I looked in the operator's booth to see who started the ride for a 5-year-old without his parents around, but the booth was empty.

I bolt to the booth trying to find a way to stop the ride. God Dang it! The control panel has one of those stupidly locked covers to stop guests from messing with the ride. I scan around the small booth for the keys to no avail.

Suddenly I hear metallic jangling behind me. I spin around and see nothing. I can hear it still. The jangling is coming from a nearby garbage can. I cautiously walk over, hesitantly peering inside. Holy stars, yes! I see the key amongst all the trash.

With no regard for germs or my safety, I plunge my hand into the can. I grab hold of the key, but something grabs hold of me. I yanked my hand back and a raccoon had buried its sharp little teeth into my hand and didn't seem to want to let go. I pull the little demon off of me and without thinking slam my boot down on its tiny head. Blood splatters all over my combat boots. Brains squelching under my foot.

Holy smokes...

I glance at the bit mark on my hand and pray that that thing isn't rabid. I can't focus on that right now, I need to save my son.

I sprint to the booth and shove the small key into the keyhole.

It's the wrong key.

I begin panicking and tearing apart the booth looking for some way to stop the ride. I spotted a fire extinguisher on the wall. I rip it out of the small metal box and slam it down on the glass cover. Glass shatters everywhere, but I don't care. I slam my hand down on the emergency stop button. Glass pierces my skin and blood comes to greet the wound, but I don't care.

Ben is the only thing that matters.

The ride halts to a stop and the cart Ben was in stops on the other side of the ride in the farthest corner from the booth. I charge over to the cart.

Ben isn't there…

I spot tiny footprints on the old crumbling wood. I furrow my brow.

I swear on everything holy I'm going to kill this little thing when I find him…

I follow the tracks like a bloodhound. My heart is pounding in my chest. The tracks lead to the Faris wheel.

Me and Azrael’s favorite ride…

I don't see Ben on the ride so I have no reason to go near it. But something in me is pulling me to it. I can't stop my feet from dragging me to the ride.

I sat down in booth number 13.

Azrael’s lucky number…

As soon as I hit the seat the ride jolts to life. I should be scared. I should be begging for help. But I'm not… I feel at peace…

I sit calmly and watch the sky as I go up. This is me and Azrael’s favorite ride. Or at least it was…

I met Azrael at a diner. I was a waitress and he was a regular. He always requested me to be his waitress, if I was busy he would wait for hours on end just to see me and have a chance to talk to me. He had a strange name but he was a kind, gentle soul when he asked me out of course I said yes. He took me to this very park. We shared our first kiss on this Faris wheel. We were in love and got married young. I kept working at the diner and he got a job as a repairman for the park. God, he loved that job. We had a good life. We were happy.

But life isn't a fairytale. There are no good endings. There is no happily ever after.

I was 3 months pregnant. Azrael was repairing the Faris wheel when the lift he was using broke down. Luckily he had a harness on, so he was safe. Or at least he was for 3 minutes. The shitty harness that the park provides to all maintenance employees snapped and he plummeted to his death. His brain splattered against the pavement. His eyeballs roll away like marbles. Bones in places there shouldn't be bones.

My sweet husband who wouldn't hurt a fly and only wanted to make people laugh is gone…

Without him, I didn't know what to do. He was the only one that made me happy. I wanted to be happy again. I began to rely on drugs and alcohol to make me feel something other than emptiness. It got really bad after a while. There I was 8 months pregnant in rehab and A.A. Ben was born with developmental disabilities because I couldn't get help like a normal person. He looks so much like his father. Sometimes I look at him with so much hate. He is a constant reminder of who I lost. Azrael would be disappointed in the mother I turned out to be.

The Faris wheel stops. I look around trying to take in my surroundings. I get off and look at the spot where Azrael landed. Blood stained the pavement. No amount of power washers could get rid of it. It's like Azrael haunts the park. The bastard has been dead for 6 years and still finds a way to remind me of that fact.

I remember that Ben is still running away from me. I follow after the little footprints on the ground again and it leads me to the bumper cars. I look around and don't see Ben anywhere. I look at the bumper cars. I get the urge to get in. Riding the Faris wheel after all this time made me feel a little bit better. I guess my thought process is that if one ride makes me feel better, maybe more rides will make me feel happy again. I sit in the little car. I realize that the ride isn't even on.

This was a stupid idea.

As I try to get up the cars rush to life. I look at the booth and don't see anyone. All the cars start rushing around, even though I'm the only one on the ride. The cars circle like sharks ready to pounce. Each car takes turns ramming into mine. The cars are hitting harder than normal bumper cars, and moving faster than they should. I get nervous and get out of the car. The car I was sitting in speeds off into the corner of the track swiftly followed by all the other cars, each crashing into one another.  As I stare at the scene in front of me I have a nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me that I'm forgetting something.

Ben.

Shoot!

I run as fast as I can, following the footprints in the dirt. Shouting for my baby to come back to me. I spotted the park's only Rollercoaster. I think about getting on. I decided to peer into the operator's booth for a moment just to see if I could even turn on the hunk of junk. On the control panel is a sheet of paper. Curiosity gets the better of me and I pick up the paper.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Matthew,

Due to recent incidents, and violation of your contract, we regret to inform you of your termination. You have been a loyal employee for 5 years and we are sorry to let you go but we need to prioritize guest and employee safety. In past months you have shown unhealthy habits and concerning behavior.

Violations:

Poor hygiene.
| Many of your coworkers have complained of a foul stench coming from you and your costume.

Coming to work under the influence of Alcohol and drugs.
| Many of your coworkers claim that you have been under the influence during your shifts.

Inappropriate comments toward guests and coworkers.
| Many of your female coworkers have complained about you making inappropriate comments towards them. Guests have also made complaints about this issue.

Violent behavior.
| We have gotten many reports of your violent behavior toward the park's wildlife. This is unacceptable.

Theft of park property.
| We have heard reports of you taking your Chipper Chuck costume home. This is a violation of your contract. Some of our newer coworkers have reported never seeing you out of costume even after hours.

We understand that mental health may have played a big role in your recent behavior and we are sorry. The best we can do for you is give you a paid leave of absence and recommend you find help.

Your termination will include a ban (cease and desist.) from the listed locations:

| Atlantic Island Park. (1/1)

Conditions for your termination:

|Return all Park property. (1/1)

(In act immediately: (2/17/97))

We wish you well and hope for your success,

Atlantic Island Park employment management team.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Dang. Must have been a rough day for him.

I look back towards the Rollercoaster and decide to not ride it. 

I go back to following the footprints left behind by Ben. They led me to the carnival game area. The footprints lead me behind one of the game tents. The footprints stop. I look up and immediately fall back in horror as I see a mangled corpse.

Holy shoot!

I stare at it. You would think I would smell it before I see it or at least hear flies. But there is no smell coming from it and no flies in sight. I pick up a stick off the ground and poke it. The skin(?) Is hard like rubber. I try to lift what I think is an arm but it stays firmly in place. I poke what seems to be hair.

It's painted on.

God dang Halloween prop!

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I walked back to the center of the game area. A horrible migraine kicks in. I clutch my head in pain. I touch my forehead and I feel way too hot for normal. It's probably just a regular old fever. I need to focus on getting Ben back. I look around for more footprints to no avail. I lean against one of the game stands and take some deep breaths to calm my raging migraine. Suddenly my hand grazed against a paper.

I pick up the paper and read it.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Atlantic City Police Department.

5/4/97

Got a call about a homicide at Atlantic Island Park.

The victim has been identified as The park's lead of the employee management team; Miles Forester.

The victim appeared to have both their eyes stabbed out.

The autopsy confirms the murder weapon was an ice pick.

Our prime suspect is Matthew Callahan. The park mascot was recently terminated. Steve is very talented at making ice sculptures.

More will be added to the case file as the investigation continues.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Dang, Matthew!

I flip the paper over to see a messed up drawing on the back. It's a drawing of Chipper Chuck standing on top of dead bodies holding an ice pick with the writing.

Child-like wonder ripped away. Rejoice children your God has returned.

What the heck…

I begin to get a little paranoid and start scanning the area. My migraine is getting worse. I can't keep getting distracted. I need to find Ben. I wandered back to the entrance to see if maybe he got tired and tried to go back to the car. I walked past the haunted house that always gave me chills.

“Mamma! Come and play!”

I turn around as I watch Ben run into the haunted house.

God Dang it!

I ran into the haunted house after him. The place is dark. I turn on my phone flashlight and begin looking around for Ben, calling out to him with desperation and anger. “Benoni, we are going home now! I don't care if I have to drag you to the car by your hair!”

I hear his small giggles surrounding me. A laugh I once adored has become a sound I hate.

I begin to get thirsty, probably from all the running I've been doing. I saw a drinking fountain by the entrance of the haunted house. I stroll over to the fountain and push the button on the side. I chug down some water to satisfy my dehydration, but the water comes straight back up as vomit spills out of my mouth.

What the…?

Something is wrong with me…

I hear Ben giggling again and I stumble after him.

“Ben… please… come back…”

My voice is hoarse and scratchy as I call out to him. Fake cobwebs keep hitting my face as I follow after My boy. Ben dashes down a corridor and I follow right behind him. He's leading me like a lamb to the slaughter. That paranoia from before has turned into full-blown terror as I keep seeing things in the corner of my eyes.

I take out my pocket knife from my back pocket. As I stumble down the corridor I start to see a light coming from a room around the corner. I round the corner and enter the room. Children's toys spilled out on the floor. A child's bed is in the corner of the room. On the bed seems to be someone…. Or something.

As I approach the bed the thing on it seems less and less human. I hear a demonic giggle the closer I get. The thing turns around and lunges toward me. I quickly stab it in the neck with my pocket knife. It cries out in pain as It chokes on its blood.

“M-momma…?” The thing said.

What?

I blink my eyes and the monster isn't a monster anymore.

I stare my baby in the eyes as he chokes and reaches out for my hand.

“B-Benoni? It's okay… Momma'a here…”

I grab his tiny hand and squeeze it tightly as I sob.

“Stay with Momma, okay Ben?”

I plea for my baby to stay. I begged him to not go like his father.

I curl up next to him in the tiny bed. I cradled him in my arms like I did when he was a baby.

“Shh… it's okay, baby….”

I keep holding him until I feel his chest stop rising and falling. I bend down and kiss his forehead.

“Say hi to Dada for me…”

I rock him back and forth in my arms. Whatever is wrong with me starting to get to my brain. I can't remember much of anything anymore. I look down at the little boy in my arms, with no memory of who he is. I close my eyes and just let this pain wash over me.

“Lola?”

I open my eyes.

“Azrael?”

—---------------------------------------------------------

Atlantic City Police Department

8/26/07

Report of a foul smell in the haunted house of Atlantic Island Park.

After investing we uncovered 2 corpses in the “dollhouse room”.

Both victims have been identified as mother and son Lola McAddams and Benoni McAddams. (Wife and son to Azrael McAddams.)

Cause of death:

Benoni was stabbed in the neck by a pocket knife and bled out. The pocket knife belonged to his mother. We concluded that his mother stabbed him due to horrific hallucinations caused by rabies.

Cause of death:

After a long autopsy, it was discovered that Lola died of rabies. She had a bite mark on her hand. After contacting our lab we discovered it was a raccoon 

Atlantic Island Park will be fined $250,000 for reckless endangerment of park guests. (Pest control hasn’t been on park grounds in 6 months. Ride operation booths were left on after hours.)

Ex-Convict, Matthew Callahan will be arrested for trespassing on Park property, (violating his cease and desist,) and impersonating a Park employee, as he is the one that let the victims into the park after hours.

No further investigation is needed.

—---------------------------------------------------------