Ever since that night Tyrone came over to get back with my mom, it’s been a constant fight trying to keep him away. My mother and I would lay awake in bed at night listening for him to arrive. When he did show up and started banging, we’d both sit there in the dark waiting for him to leave. To me it felt like we were trying to hide from him, but it never worked. I didn’t understand why my mother wouldn’t move to another part of town. One night after school I was sitting in the living room on the floor by the two windows, looking down at the busy streets of Chicago, when my mother walked through the front door of our apartment with groceries in her hand and a smile on her face. “How was school Brook?” She asked sitting the bags on the counter. “My name is Brooklynn, get it straight.” I said staring at a group of young black guys playing soccer in the alley across the street. “What’s up your ass? I guess you didn’t have a good day. I had a wonderful day at work, thanks for asking Ms. Grouch.” She asked taking a seat on our brown lazy boy chair. “I don’t care how your day was. It’s not important to me. I don’t know why you’re so interested in my day.” “I’m your mother, I want to know how your days are and I kind of wish you would hold conversations with me, Instead of just blowing me off like you have been for the past six months.” She replied. “It doesn’t seem like you are. You haven’t been here for me when I needed you the most.” I said turning to face her and see her reaction to what I had just said. “What’s your f*ing problem? I told you many times I’m sorry for what Tyrone has done to you. What more do I have to say or do for you to believe how truly sorry I am? He’ll leave us alone soon. I know how scared you are when you hear his drunk ass banging on the front door because it scares me too. I can’t do anything Brook. I’ve tried and you know I have.” The tears were starting to run down her cheeks. I turned around so I didn’t have to see her cry. It hurt me. “Yeah, I do. Trust me, so do the neighbors. No one can sleep when he starts banging. I’m tired of how you always let him back into our lives and I’m always the one who gets hurt.” I turned to face her again. “Brook, I know.” She looked down at the floor. “I’m sorry.” She looked back up at me. “Why don’t you just drop it?” “I can’t! You don’t understand what you keep putting me through because you haven’t had someone hurt you like Tyrone has me. You’re never there when I need you the most. NEVER! I hate you!” I said slamming the front door of our apartment.

Running down the streets of Chicago felt wonderful. The wind was nice and cool, the streets were packed like usual, and the thugs were posted up at their usual spots checking out the girls and keeping an eye out for police. That’s how it normally was in Chicago.

I didn’t know where I was headed, but I knew I wasn’t going to go home for a while. My mother had no idea how much pain I was in. I looked at everyone as I ran past them, trying to figure out how they felt and wandering if they were in as much pain as I was, but I couldn’t.

“Brooklynn!” I heard someone yell from behind me. I stopped running and turned around. That’s when I saw Jabri running towards me. A smile spread across my face when I saw him smiling at me.

“How’s it going gorgeous?” He asked in my ear when he picked me up and gave me a hug.

“I’m not sure.” I whispered back. I held onto him really tight.

He let go of me and just looked down at me. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” I said looking down at my feet.

“Something’s wrong. I can tell. Don’t lie to me Brook.” He lifted my chin and looked deep into my eyes. “Tell me.” He said softly.

“It’s hard to explain. It doesn’t even matter.” I turned back to the way I was headed. The park was right around the corner and I was in the mood to swing. Swinging always relaxed me, I never figured out why.

The park was where I went when things got bad. Jabri always went there with me after school every day last year after we met each other. Now he’s almost always busy with his music. At school he’s always around people so I just go on, and talk to him on the streets whenever I see him.

Sitting down on the swing next to Jabri, I looked over at him and asked, “Have you ever wanted to run away from something so bad but you couldn’t?”

“Yeah, I have. Running away isn’t the best way to deal with s***. You have to keep your head held high, and do what you got to do to make it.” He said looking back at me.

“What if you think you can make it?” I asked looking at the little kids playing on the slide. “What if you need help, but you don’t want to get help?”

“That’s when you really need help. If it’s something bad that you got to run away from, then come to me and I’ll help.”

I stopped and looked down at my feet. “I miss spending time with you Jabri.”

“I do too Brooklynn. Maybe I’ll have you come down to the studio with me sometime so you can hear my music for once.” He smiled standing up in front of me.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going home, but I want a hug first.” He picked me up and twirled me around then kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, see you then.” I smiled as I watched him walk away.

On the way home I had a bad feeling. I felt scared and nervous at the same time. My heart started pounding fast. Time seemed to be going by really fast. I turned my iPod up as loud as it could go, and blocked out the world until I got to the front door of the apartment. I shut it off and reached for the doorknob when Tyrone jerked it open. “Where have you been young lady?” “That’s none of your business. Where’s my mother?” “She’s in the bedroom passed out.” He said grabbing my arm and pulling me inside the apartment. “I’ve missed you Brook.” He whispered in my ear. “Let go of me right now!” I said trying to get out of his grip, but he squeezed my arm harder. I could feel the pain. “Please, let me go!” I started crying. The pain in my arm was too much for me. The way he said my name made me want to throw up. I hated it. I knew I shouldn’t have come home. Jabri would have let me stayed the night with him. Tyrone picked me up and threw me onto the pull out couch and climbed on top of me. I screamed as loud as I could, hoping someone would hear me. He didn’t seem to like that. Before I knew it he had punched me in my face. “You’re a f*ing bastard! You know that? I’m tired of your drunk ass using me and my mother. Why don’t you go beat on someone else? Why does it have to be me?” I said while I felt the blood bleed down my nose. “It’s because I like you.” He smiled that half shitted grin he always did when he saw me. “Get the f*** off me!” He didn’t say anything he just started taking my clothes off. I tried covering myself back up, taking his hands off me, and pushing him completely off of me, but it didn’t work. “Get the f*** off of me!” I screamed in his ear. “Shut the f*** up! No one can hear you. You’re not going anywhere.” He yelled right in my face, his hands tightened on my arms. He started squeezing my arms tight again, and I burst out crying. The tears just rolled down my cheeks. They didn’t stop. I tried sitting up, but he let go of my arms and punched me hard in the face. I could feel the blood trickling down my face. I gave up. I didn’t care anymore. I closed my eyes trying to think about me and Jabri together at the park laughing at stupid stuff, but I couldn’t because I could feel Tyrone’s body on top of me. I could hear him breathing heavily. I felt disgusting and useless… I wanted to just lie down next to my mom and feel safe, but right now I wasn’t and I couldn’t be next to her. When Tyrone got up and stood there starring down at me he threatened that if I told anybody he’d kill me. Like all the other times. After he walked out of the apartment I got up from the couch and walked into the bathroom. Inside the shower I stood under the faucet letting the water rain down on me. I scrubbed my body so hard and couldn’t help but cry. The warm water felt good on my back and I started feeling better, but when I looked down at my arms I started crying harder. They were bruised up from Tyrone’s grip. I turned my attention to my feet and saw blood running down my legs. I fell to the floor and hugged my knees. I didn’t have anyone to protect me. I was alone. No one could help, not even my mother.

The next morning I found myself lying on the living room floor next to the big windows. I looked over at the clock on the wall and grunted. I was late for school AGAIN. My mother came into the living room crying.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Tyrone stole the money for the rent and groceries.” She cried. “I’m broke. What am I going to do?”
“I have no idea. You’re the one who took him back. Look what happened.”
She ignored what I said and left.
I sat up feeling dizzy and found blood stains on my pajama pants. I grabbed some clothes off the dresser, and tried changing. I couldn’t do it. My whole body was sore. I decided to lie on the bed and pull my jeans on that way. After grabbing my backpack, I took my time getting to school.
Everyone stared at me as they passed. I didn’t think I looked that horrible. As soon as I saw Jabri his face fell. I kept walking even though I felt numb. I didn’t want to cry, not at school. There were too many people around. Right before I could turn the corner Jabri grabbed my arm. I flinched. It hurt so bad. I stopped and looked at him.
“What happened?” He asked.
I stood there just staring at him. I knew if I opened my mouth I would start crying.
He pulled me into him and hugged me softly. I didn’t hug him back. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“What happened Brook?” He asked again still holding onto me.
“I can’t explain.” I whispered trying to fight the tears.
Jabri backed against the wall trying to keep calm. We just stared at each other.

I didn’t go straight home after school. I decided the park would be a good place to go. I sat on the swing staring down at the pebbles on the ground. My hands were holding on tight to the chains. I thought about what had happened. Thinking about it made me cry. All I wanted was for those memories to go away, but that’s just asking too much.
“Pick up your feet.” Jabri said grabbing the chains.
“What are you doing here?”
“I thought I could find you here.”

“Why were you looking for me?”
“I’m worried about you Brooklynn.”
“Why is that?” I asked rolling up my sleeves. I forgot about the bruises I had been hiding.
“What the…” He stopped the swing abruptly. “What happened last night?”
“Nothing.” I answered looking out at the little kids. I watched a little girl about four or five years old fall own and start crying.
“Are you listening?” Jabri asked standing in front of me now.
“No.” I said getting up. “It’s none of your business.”
“Don’t even give me that! It is my business Brook. You’re my best friend.”
“Just leave me alone.” I said walking away.
The streets were noisy as I walked in silence. My mind was racing with thoughts. I couldn’t tell Jabri, even if he was my best friend. It was something I had to keep to myself, no matter how much pain it brought me.

I walked for an hour and found myself in front of Jabri’s house. I walked up the steps to his front door, but then I heard a girl laughing.

“Brooklynn?” Jabri asked walking up to his house with a girl at his side.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk, but I see you’re busy.” I pushed past them and started running.

The last place I had was my home. I didn’t have anyone else. It was eleven p.m. when I entered the apartment. It was silent. Nobody was here. I let out a sigh after I locked the door.

“Did you think I was gone?” Tyrone asked turning the lamp on. He was sitting there watching me. I turned for the door. I tried unlocking it, but I was too late. I was scared. I fell to the floor crying.

“Please don’t touch me.” I whimpered.

“To bad.” He said picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom.

I started kicking my feet and punching him, even though I was still sore. It didn’t seem to do anything, except piss him off. When he looked at me I could see the anger in his eyes. He pulled out a knife and cut my shirt open. I backed against the wall and started pounding.

“You want to make noise now?”

“Please Tyrone, Don’t!” I screamed.

That’s when the cops busted the door down and took Tyrone away. My mom ran into the room crying and hugged me softly. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone tonight.”

“What made you come back?” I asked keeping all the tears in.

“I had a bad feeling and decided to come home and check on you, but the apartment door was locked and I heard you screaming. I called the police. I did what I thought was right for the first time.” She kissed my forehead and kept apologizing, but I knew it wasn’t her fault. She had no idea about half the stuff Tyrone did to me.

Ten minutes after sitting on the bed my mom finally got ahold of her tears and stopped crying. She went out into the living room and I followed her, but I went to sit on my knees and looked out the window while she stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. The street seemed awfully quiet, but in the streetlight I saw a figure walking. It made my heart beat faster, and then my smiled appeared on my face. I knew exactly who it was. The one person I loved more than anything in the world. I opened the apartment door and waited for him to come up the stairs. When my mother saw me she got this questionable look in her eyes.

“He’s coming.” I said smiling.

She shook her head smiling because she knew who I was talking about. “You love him, don’t you?”

“He’s my best friend.” I said watching him appear in the doorway.

“What the hell happened here?” Jabri asked looking at me.

“It’s a long story.” I said watching my mom walk back into the apartment. When she closed the door I ran to him and hugged him. “It was all because of Tyrone, but now he’s gone. They took him away. He almost killed me.” I cried holding onto Jabri tight.

“It’s okay Brook. I got you.” Jabri said holding me against his chest.

I looked up into his eyes and found out the feeling I’ve always had for him was not just lust, but it was real love. I knew that if I wanted him around keeping my feelings quiet would be the best thing to do. He leaned down with a smile and kissed me softly. I knew that we were going to be more than friends in the end.