Once Declan got me back to his god dad’s house I went upstairs because they offered for me to stay the night. I texted my aunt to let her know I was staying the night. She doesn’t care she’s never really cared about what I did. When I told her I got hit she didn’t really ask any questions or seem worried about me. I’ve always felt like I was a nuisance to her. The next morning was a school day and my alarm went off. I got up and for a minute I completely forgot about yesterday. I stood up and immediately felt pain scorch through my body. I fell back down on my bed and breathed heavily then forced myself to get back up. I limped to my bathroom and looked in my mirror. The second I saw my reflection I knew I wouldn’t be going to school today. The girl in the mirror didn’t even look like me. My normally tan skin was now a sickly pale color, my dark brown hair that always seems to look perfect was oily and fell limply in front of my face, my normal lips that Declan used to tease me about by telling me every boy wanted kiss was swollen and cracked, my eyes looked pretty much the same aside from the bruises near them. I stared into my eyes from the reflection normally it seemed like I looked so happy right now my brown eyes looked like pools of darkness and despair.
There was a knock on the door that snapped me out of my daze. I limped to the door and saw Declan he smiled weakly at me and said, “You’re not going to school today, hon.”

“Thank you.” I muttered and I fell against his chest and started to cry. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. It felt like the one day every year Declan and I would skip school come to mine or his house and just sit on the couch while I cried my eyes out. We did that every year on the anniversary of when my parents died. I guess we’ll have two days we do that this year. We walked down to the living room and he put in the movie “13 going on 30” it was one of the movies he always put in because he knew it made me laugh on a bad day. Today I stayed silent through the whole thing after that he put in the movie, “The Proposal” I didn’t laugh during that either. I could tell Declan was getting worried about me so he decided to put in, “Hitch” I still didn’t laugh. He decided to take a break from comedies and grabbed the computer and typed into Google, “10 top movies of all time”. He put in “Titanic” which was rated number 2 and I fell asleep in the middle of the movie. By the time my aunt came to pick me up I was still asleep in Declan’s lap and my aunt decided to leave me here for another night. I didn’t mind I loved staying at Declan and Old man Jenkins place. After I went up into my room and walked out onto the balcony I didn’t hear Declan when he came in. I sighed and then heard him say, “You okay?”

I looked back at him and nodded as I whispered, “Yeah.”
“No you’re not.”

I forced a smile, “How do you know that?”
“You’re voice cracked.”

“I just don’t understand any of this, Declan, you’ve told me that you’re a Christian and you serve God, right?”
“Correct.”

“How could a God that’s so great and powerful let something so horrible happen to me?”
Declan sighed, “I don’t know, God has a way of working things out. I think you’re a part of some plan of his and that was the only way he could get your attention.”

I stood there for a second: confused about how I feel about this. I turned around and yelled, “Why couldn’t he figure out a different way?! Why couldn’t he send a little angel down and flat out talk to me! Why did he have to let me get abused!”

“Rain, calm down.”
“No Declan! Why should I? Nothing matters anymore! My parents are dead! My aunt doesn’t even take care of me I’m here over half the time because she’s always a business trips! She didn’t even ask me if I was okay after I told her Bruce hit me! The only person that even acts like they care about me is you! I love you Declan, but my life can’t revolve around you because that’s not fair to you so what do you suggest I do?!”

Declan grabbed me and held me tight and whispered in my ear, “Calm down Rain, you’ll be alright.”
“How do you know that?”

“No one can hurt you now; I won’t let them.”
“It just seems like my whole life is like a city that’s slowly burning down.”

I moved away from him and sat down on the floor of the balcony and said, “I need to leave this town.”
“I don’t really think you can do that.”

“Why not?”
“Rain you’re not even seventeen. Maybe when your eighteen you and I can leave here.”

“You and I?”
He looked at me, “I’ll always be here to protect you, Rain.”

“I love you, Declan.”
He smiled, “I love you too.”

“How long do you think it’ll be before I forget this nightmare?”
“Rain, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget it.”

I yawned and Declan looked over and smiled weakly at me and said, “Somebody needs some rest.”
I nodded slowly and Declan helped me get to the bed I looked up at him as he walked away and I said quietly, “Declan.”

He looked back at me and I stated, “I’m scared.”
“Rain, I’m right down the hall if you have a nightmare wake me up and we can go watch a movie.”

“Thank you.”
“Try to get some sleep.”

I nodded as he closed the door, but I knew I would get no sleep tonight.

I was right. I didn’t get any sleep that night. I heard Jenkins when he got up to get ready for work so I decided I’d greet him good morning. We’ve always called Jenkins “Old Man Jenkins” since we were little, but honestly he wasn’t too old he was in his mid-fifties right now. He worked as a pastor at the church Declan also goes to. We talked for a few minutes before he ran off. I watched TV until Declan woke up I heard him check my room and could hear his footsteps as he ran down the stairs as quickly as he could. He checked the kitchen for me first and yelled out, “Declan I’m in here!”

He walked to the living room and said, “Did you really have to scare me like that?”
“I didn’t know you’d freak out.”

“Sorry, I guess I’m paranoid.”
“You guess?”

“Okay, I am paranoid. I’m sorry I’m just worried about you.”
I nodded; I understood I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was terrified that something might happen to me. Before I knew what I was saying I stated, “I want a therapist.”

Declan looked at me surprised that I said that. When I saw his look of surprise I knew I said that aloud. Declan nodded for a moment then said, “That’d probably be best for you.”

“Everywhere I turn I keep looking back to make sure that nobody is following me and I haven’t left this house. Declan, you don’t know how it feels for it to seem like everybody is just watching and waiting to attack…waiting to see you mess up again.”
“It’s not your fault that Bruce hit you.”

“I know, but it feels like it is.”
“Well get that feeling out of your system.”

I laughed and said, “I want to get out of here.”
“Rain, we talked about this you can’t leave this town yet.”

“I’m not talking about leaving this town I’m talking about just getting out of this house. I eventually have to face my fears.”
“Rain you can’t even walk up the stairs without wincing from the pain what makes you think you could walk around outside?”

“I don’t know Declan I just know if I stay here much longer I’m going to be scared to leave. I know this place is safe and I’m worried that eventually I’m going to get too scared to leave here.”
“How about you can come with me to church on Sunday? That’s in two days so you have a little bit more time to rest.”

I nodded and Declan knew that I was agreeing but just had no comment. Declan went into the kitchen to get us some left over pizza and I just sat there and thought: I was about to have to spread my wings and get out of my safe haven. Where everybody will wait and watch to see me mess up…again.